Halloween - The Curse of Michael Myers

Amazon.com

The series premise continues to stretch so thin it could dissipate. This time, Michael Myers chases his unfortunate niece around, then goes after a family who happen to be living in his former home. This is slasher-ism at its most cynical, and a thoroughly unpleasant, unimaginative, and unredeeming movie. Donald Pleasence, the one holdover from the original film, looks like he'd rather be anywhere than in this thing. --Tom Keogh

Description

For pulse-pounding suspense and relentless thrills, nothing can match HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS -- one of the most frightening chapters in the chilling HALLOWEEN series! In a single horrifying night, Michael Myers' masked reign of terror changed Halloween forever! Now, six years after he was presumed dead in a fire, Myers has returned to kill again -- and this time there's no escape! As the homicidal fury builds to a spine-tingling cliimax, the long-hidden secrets of the screen's most maniacal murderer are revealed ... with shocking results! Starring a thrilling cast including legendary Donald Pleasence (HALLOWEEN, THE ADVOCATE) and Paul Rudd (THE CIDER HOUSE RULES, CLUELESS).

Customer Reviews:

One of the best.......2007-09-04

The Curse of Michael Myers is one of the best Halloween movies. Michael is violent and kills alot in this film. Its what Rob Zombie's remake should have been. The do have some orgins to Myers background and I wish they'd release the directors cut to the movie. This is also Donald Pleasence's last film. Its too bad because he was such a great actor and I always enjoyed watching him as Dr. Loomis. Some cheesy moments but all in all, a excellent movie.

The Origins of Michael Meyers.......2007-07-30

I'm ALMOST a diehard horror fan- I have to see every one my local store still has for rent. This is the second best entry in the long running, still going Halloween horror franchise behind the fourth one. Halloween 2 is so good it's bad. This one is pretty scary; unlike the fourth and fith films which preceeded it you laughed AT those two films for being so predictable. This explains the origins of Michael Meyers and had just enough of a budget to mass produce the VHS and master the DVD. I'm not going to give away much of the plot, but if you were waiting several years since Haloween 5, it is a lot better than that one and you don't feel guilty watching this one. This one portays Michael Meyers as an intelligent sociopath and not just a mindless killing machine. These horror franchises are rich- most of the budget went into mass oroducing the VHS, mastering the DVD and producing other merchandise like Halloween costumes. The first Halloween film in the 70s by John Carpenter was so successful and such a low budget that from then on the big no no in Holloywood film making was to flaunt your wealth. It had to have a broad appeal and they wanted everyone to be able to afford it. This one is a real freak of nature. For such a low budget and a direct to video rental, this first came out and I saw it then the first day it was released it came out at a time when VHS tapes, the Haloween series and horor films were a joke. Well it was no laughing matter when it was a worldwide success and the makers of this film sued college kids for posting bad reviews of it. As entertainment it's two and a half stars as a good movie it's three stars.

Producer's cut makes sense of this mess.......2007-07-20

I finally saw this "Producer's Cut" of Halloween 6, and let me just say that it puts the theatrical release to shame. Best of all, the Producer's cut actually brings the series to a respectable close, which is ignored/omitted in the theatrical cut for the sake of more sequels.

You can't even begin to realize what a mess the theatrical version is until you witness the Producer's cut. For example, have you ever noticed how the dialogue comes in and the characters appear to be halfway through a conversation? Well that's because they cut it all out! Anything that helps the movie flow was cut out, and tons of pointless gore was edited in. Did you also ever wonder why Dr. Loomis was even at the hospital when he meets Tommy? Or why the whole bring back Halloween rally was taking place? Or who the father of the baby was? Well it's all explained in the Producer cut.

As for the different ending, I'll tell the truth coming from a fan of 10+ years, it's really not satisfying. Michael Myers is not defeated, or killed, nor does he meet the ultimate demise some were probably hoping for. I won't spoil it. However what is satisfying about it is that, as I mentioned, it brought a respectable end to the series and puts the idea of more dumb sequels to rest. But no, they just couldn't leave it alone.

I recommend checking out both versions and comparing them.

I Actually Loved This Movie!.......2007-06-19

This more than likely the most underrated film Ive ever seen. No joke. I know the film gets trashed by critics and a lot of the Halloween fans alike. Nevertheless theres still something about the film that keeps me entertained even after Ive watched it 50 times. I really liked the story and the death scenes in the film. Not to mention this is the scariest out of all the Halloween movies. I just never really understood how anyone who likes Horror films cant find something good in this. I always recommend viewers wanting to see this to try to find the Producers Cut of the film. Its not an official release, but it can be found if you know where to look. Most of the time fans of this film make those Producers Cuts. Some of the great things about the film is the score(especially the Producers Cut of the film), the photography, a lot of the acting, and the creepy atmosphere it puts on. This IS the most brutal of all the other Halloween movies. I absloutely love seeing Myers kill people in this film. Im sure that sounds sadistic, but you can root for him sometimes. I always try to give this film credit and love. Ive even spent up to $75 on buying Producers Cuts of the film! Ive always had a soft spot for it. Definitely one of my favorite films. Its not for everyone though. I just recommend to anyone who watches it to have an open mind and try to see some of the awesome things in the film. They are most certainly there.

SCARIEST HALLOWEEN EVER!!!.......2007-06-18

This is the scariest one is the series. Most people hate this one because it explains why michael kills a reveals the cult that is behind all his madness. I usally would hate a film like this but for some reason i did not and i am sure why. If you take aside the whole cult thing it's another great addition to the series. but whatever I like it.

Average customer rating:

Wacky Magic Fun
ANTHONY HICKOX DOES IT AGAIN!
If you love Julian Sands this is a great movie.
HE'S BACK!
If Evils Looks Like This, Then I Need to Change Sides

Warlock: The Armageddon
Starring: R.G. Armstrong , Dawn Ann Billings , Wren T. Brown , Gary Cervantes , and Davis Gaines
Manufacturer: Lions Gate
ProductGroup: DVD
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ASIN: 157362618X
Release Date: 1999-05-25

Amazon.com

This follow-up to Warlock boasts more sophisticated visual effects, slicker production values, and bigger (and bloodier) action, but fans of the original's dry wit and tight story may be disappointed. It's really more a rehash than a sequel. The Devil is up to his old tricks again, sending his favorite son (the title character) on a mission to recover six runes--ancient stones that will allow His Satanic Majesty to escape Hell and once again walk the Earth. Leading the forces of good are a group of modern-day druids and a pair of teenage lovers who have no idea they've been selected to save the world. There are some genuinely spooky moments, a few laughs, and some nice visual touches, but the scattershot script keeps throwing out one cool idea after another, hoping something sticks. On the other hand, if watching Julian Sands writhe on the ground spewing black blood sounds like a good time, this may be just the ticket. Gremlins star Zach Galligan has a cameo (as the boyfriend of the Warlock's mom!) --Geof Miller

Customer Reviews:

Wacky Magic Fun.......2004-11-02

I really enjoyed this movie. It's goofy and the Druids vs. the Warlock history is a bit silly but overall quite enjoyable. It has better pacing than the first film and seems less disjointed even though the Warlock's search for the runestones is told in a series of little vignette's. Some of the "druid training" scenes are quite beautiful with very creative direction to attain subtle effects which nicely contrast the Warlock's macabre magic.

As I said before the story is a little silly but I liked it better than the witch-hunter sent through time story of the first film and the forgettable kids in a haunted house approach of the third.

ANTHONY HICKOX DOES IT AGAIN!.......2004-07-16

Warlock:The Armageddon is an enjoyable watch. I bought this DVD because 1.Anthony Hickox directed it. 2.Monika Schnarre has a small part in it. I hadn't seen it before when I purchased this film, but I enjoyed it. I love what Anthony Hickox did with this sequel. The special effects, a good cast. I love Paula Marshall (from 'Hellrasier 3)- what a talented and likeable actress. I got a thrill seeing Monika Schnarre again in a small part as a runway model.

I hope that anthony Hickox would make more films like this.

If you love Julian Sands this is a great movie........2003-07-21

If you love Julian Sands this is a great movie. He looks wonderful in this film. It also has lots of action and a good story line.

HE'S BACK!.......2003-07-06

This is a thrilling sequal to the classic "Warlock".You will love it!It is just as good as the first!If the first one made you jump,you will fly out of your seat watching this one!The Warlock is reborn and has to collect 6 sacred stones for the rise of satan.Now two warriors must stop him before it's too late.With a trail of blood in their way,can the warriors stop him?This thriller also stars Joanna Pacula.The dvd features include the theatrical trailer,interactive scene selection and set up.It's agreat buy so get it now!

If Evils Looks Like This, Then I Need to Change Sides.......2002-02-27

The Warlock, played by Julian Sands is calm, cool and funny. He makes you laugh at the right times. He also looks very good in black. The idea behind The Warlock was unique. Well acted, well filmed.

Average customer rating:

Very, Very, Very Bad. (Doesn't even deserve one star.)
Alexander....Troy.....Druids??????
Fair movie with some serious flaws
Both pretty good and pretty bad
I think the Gauls should sue for defamation.

Druids
Starring: Christopher Lambert , Klaus Maria Brandauer , Max von Sydow , Inés Sastre , and Denis Charvet
Director: Jacques Dorfmann
Manufacturer: Sony Pictures
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ASIN: B00005R23V
Release Date: 2001-12-11

Customer Reviews:

Very, Very, Very Bad. (Doesn't even deserve one star.).......2007-02-16

Cinematic's throw-up. History's crap. The music sucks, and the plot is horrible. It was a Braveheart wanna-bee that could never stand up to it.

First of all, the acting was mediocre, and the directing left a lot to be desired. What is going on with the storyline? Who? What? Oh my god they lost me again!... and I studied Roman history for a good portion of my life, so if anyone should be into a movie like this, it should be me.

Secondly, and I am getting specific now, the Roman legions does not consist of 20 guys who are chomping at the bit to get laid. They wouldn't care if girls flashed them on a wall, and if they did, and broke line, the commander wouldn't smirk with entertainment. He would order the archers to KILL HIM on the spot! They didn't NEED to break line to flip out about breasts, they could (and always did) just have their way with them later.

This movie was the biggest waste of 3 dollars EVER. Don't waste your time.

Alexander....Troy.....Druids??????.......2006-07-08

What can I say about this movie. Its not the worst in the world, but it is Long, and the ending is a huge dissapointment, because their really wasn't one. Bottom line, just not a piece of history that was really worth trying to addapt to the big screen. Movies like Alexander (which was again way to long, and another oliver stone saga like JFK), and Troy, out at about the same time, had a defined hero, and an ending. Also about the same time frame the movie Gladiator was out. I think Druids was trying to cash in on this movie style of the time. Although I am not a huge fan of these three movies (of them gladiator was most tolerable), at least you might be grabbed into foollowig the main character and have an ending. Druids was writen about a bunch of the Germanian tribes/states, which were mainly disorganized and just no stand out group. It would have been nice if they would ahve picked a piece of history with a hero, or a legend, not just pick something at random, like Druids. Also, christopher Lambert was chosen for this role only because he has an accent, otherwise, why, he just seemed wasted in the role, again, no real ending. This movie could have been so much more, again just the wrong piece of history taken. They could have done something with Prussia, and the Barron von Bismark...a little later in German history, but treading on thin ice because it is the history that led to WWI, and eventualy WWII. Wow, don't want to go there. Anyway, Overall, just take the movie at face value, tribes of german people divided with a small rally at one point, then fade away. Still some good action, and the plot does suck you in, hence the dissapointment when the ending comes.

Fair movie with some serious flaws.......2006-04-01

Although it has it's share of interesting battle scenes, overall it is rather dull. The absolute worst thing about this movie is the sound editing for English. It's like they include none of the original sound, and tried to dub in everything. Everything sounds fake.

Both pretty good and pretty bad.......2006-02-20

As a long time student of Celtic/Gaulic history I was surprised at the accuracy of the sets, costumes, weapons, and occasional displays of what is known about Celtic culture. For example, women bearing their breasts as a pre-battle distraction was historic fact, as were heads hanging from bridles of the warriors' horses. The Celts also had women who trained boys and young men in military combat, and this was depicted. Depictions of the carynx horns was interesting. The fact that many of the unusual peculiarities of the Celts were depicted at all in a film is commendable.

It is difficult to convey the enormous scope of the defences and the battles, so I'll give the limited on-screen depiction a pass.

The music and photography were also not bad (I've seen worse). This film will be interesting to those already familiar with the Celts and Vercingetorix. To the average person, however, the flick will be confusing and boring with it's endless disjointed conflicts, sub-plots, amateur dialog, and lame attempt at a love story.

The American title is misleading and should have been "Vercingetorix," because it does not focus on the Druids. Caesar (Klaus Maria Brandauer) had a ridiculous German accent and looked nothing like the Caesar with whom we are all familiar from the very accurate contemporary Roman sculptures and coins.

The dialogue could have been written by a junior-high student. In places there was obvious dubbing that didn't match lip movements. Post-production was also pretty bad, with too little or too much emphasis in the wrong places.

As a visual depiction of history it is fair and in places pretty good, but as an entertaining story for non-historians it sucks.

I think the Gauls should sue for defamation........2006-02-03

From the moronic script seemingly penned by a 12-year-old to the terrible music, horrible costumes and bad acting, this movie is fit only for an episode of Mystery Science Theater. Don't rent it, and certainly don't buy it; it's a complete waste of time and brain cells. Here's some lines from the movie: "Let's go invade Britain! Yay!" It's that bad.

Bellini - Norma / Bonynge, Sutherland, Troyanos, Canadian Opera Company

Average customer rating:

There's alot to hate here. . .BUT:
Fine singing in spite of reviews!
Not a great Norma or Sutherland
Get the 1978 version with Elkins as Adalgisa...
What a disappointment!

Bellini - Norma / Bonynge, Sutherland, Troyanos, Canadian Opera Company
Starring: Joan Sutherland , Tatiana Troyanos , Francisco Ortiz , Justino Díaz , and Frances Ginzer
Director: Norman Campbell
Manufacturer: Video Artists Int'l
ProductGroup: DVD
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ASIN: B00005AAET
Release Date: 2001-03-20

Amazon.com

By 1981, when this production was taped for Canadian television, Joan Sutherland's voice was unquestionably past its prime. But even in its decline, that voice remained something quite special, and the role of the troubled Druid priestess Norma was one of her specialties. A substantial advantage in this recording is the presence at the podium of her husband and coach, Richard Bonynge, who had a deep understanding of the strengths and limitations of her voice and stage persona. His pacing and balance give the voice opportunities to challenge, at least momentarily, the ravages of time.

Lotfi Mansouri, one of the great operatic entrepreneurs of the late 20th century, assembled a first-class supporting cast for Sutherland--most notably Tatiana Troyanos, to whose memory this video is dedicated. The performance of Troyanos in the role of the younger and equally troubled priestess Adalgisa is outstanding and would make this disc worth having even without its documentation of Sutherland. As far as it is possible to determine, this is the only video opera appearance of tenor Francisco Ortiz. On the basis of his performance as the Roman officer Pollione, he seems to have deserved more attention. Bass Justino Diaz gives a sterling performance as the old Druid Oroveso, and this production is, overall, preferable to the earlier Australian Opera video of Sutherland's Norma. --Joe McLellan

Customer Reviews:

There's alot to hate here. . .BUT:.......2005-10-11

"Norma" is an opera fanatic's battleground, for so few singers can actually stand up and SING it. And, if you are a rabid Callas fan
there is only one Norma: La Divina herself. That said, that
Sutherland in 1981 could even approximate the role speaks volume for her technique and will. What is unforgivable about this production is her Halloween costuming and the conducting of Bonynge: his self indulgent hand waving pushes the tempi into
carnival music, and he seems to NEVER phrase or let the singers
breathe. Those of us spoiled to Seraphin have trouble forgiving him.

Sutherland seems to warm into the role, and dramatically catches fire only at the end of the opera, although vocally one can hear her (valiant) struggle in the lower register. Ultimately she won me over,
and I was prepared to hate her, and everything she did after the
"Casta Diva".

The triumph of this video, one thing that makes it worth having
and watching is the work of Troyanos. Watching her is a study
in Italian vocal technique, with squillo to burn.

Fine singing in spite of reviews!.......2005-07-18

I find the reviews a real puzzle. It seems that there are two distinct dvds of this Canadian opera production: I have one version and nearly everyone else has another. Sutherland's "casta diva" is not ugly. It is finely sung. There is no strain. The timber is rich as always Forte singing is full, rarely on the edge and always movingly sung. When she joins Troyanos in the duets the singing does become greater. Soft notes are beautiful to hear. If Ortiz as Pollione is not the best, he deserves much more credit than he gets for the good singing that he does deliver. He doesn't sound under parted to me. If a reviewer has to compare him to Corelli or Del Monaco that's their loss. Few can match either of them. Troyanos triumphs as most reviewers agree. Her loss will never be replaced for its sincerity, integrity, beauty of timber and the radiance of her personality. Diaz and the rest of the cast are also fine. I think Bonynge does a really good job with the orchestra. He has often been under-appreciated and unjustly maligned. The overture is a little fast but in general everyone does themselves credit. The four stars I give is with reluctance, it deserves five, but the sound and picture quality are distracting at time. The packaging is up roar. The video is dedicated the memory of Tatiana Troyanos which I thought was a very professional touch. This dvd deserves to be seen and heard. You may not buy it but I don't think you'll regret having heard it either. The Caballe Norma is extraordinary.. Tat l'Orange performance is immortal. Comparisons make us partisans not lovers of beautiful music beautifully sung. I am very happy to have this dvd in my collection.

Not a great Norma or Sutherland.......2002-10-16

Troyanos is the most exciting presence and singer in this production. Both Norma (Sutherland) and Pollione are not great, but they are more exciting when Troyanos is on stage. Sutherland must have been history by the time this was made. I have heard her on cd's and I know her voice was tremendous. This DVD does not convey at all why she became famous and was called "La Stupenda." Not at all.
The only thing I can say about Pollione is he looks pretty good in short armour, remembering he's supposed to be a warrior (therefore solid looking); his singing did not interest me.
The production itself is not so great: the sound vanishes periodically (during arias!) and the sub-titles are erratic at best, vanishing for whole chunks of time. I would not buy another disc from this company unless I were certain that production values (and subtitles) were better and the star singers in better form.

Get the 1978 version with Elkins as Adalgisa..........2002-09-18

Firstly, I agree that Norma is 'not in the same league' as Aida, Rigoletto or Carmen. It is in a league ABOVE any of these except perhaps Carmen! Norma is a true, fully-sung, lyrical opera. Bellini stands alone in being capable of such a creation, and musically is rather more akin to Chopin than any opera composer. If only he had lived longer, and if only we had an early Callas performance on DVD!

I would like to add a few more words for this recording. While Dame Joan's once stupendously glorious voice is obviously in decline here (I should say worse than Callas in 1960 EMI), she's still much better off than many of our current Normas, and her dramatization has improved over the years. She fared better in the duets than in her painful opening recitative and aria, which she had to sing transposed, unlike in the past.

Although I've always preferred a soprano in this role, Troyanos was a fantastic Adalgisa, much more real than the campy performances of her rival Cossotto, and with a voice that is at once moving, rich and young similar to Christa Ludwig in the 1960 EMI.

Ortiz is a respectable Pollione, and not just because he hit the high 'C'. Diaz is also a good Oroveso.

But Bonynge's conducting leaves much to be desired. I was horrified by his cavalier direction and was left wondering what's this guy doing up there at all in the first place! He rushed through Oroveso's aria in a pace that ruined its beauty completely, and poor Diaz had a hard time trying to catch-up. The same thing happened over Adalgisa's lone musings which were rudely rushed over. And Pollion's aria. And the chorus Norma viene. He also took liberties to cut the orchestratal passages, and to interrupt the music to allow applause for Sutherland and Troyanos.

I regret how poor Dame Joan was deprived of a chance to work with great conductors such as Serafin. It would have helped improve her interpretation over what we have today. As it is this is a video made too late for her, and poorly conducted. If only she had done it with Abbado, Karajan, Bernstein or even Muti, a decade earlier!

What a disappointment!.......2001-07-30

This Opera may be considered among the better ones. Not in the league of Aida, or Rigoletto, or Carmen. However, well sung and presented, it can be made to exude magical qualities. With Joan Sutherland (JS) as Norma, and Tatiana Troyanos (TT) as Adalgisa, I expected a thoroughly satisfying experience. I had never before heard of Francisco Ortiz (FO, - as Pollione), but then this Opera is mainly for the lead female singers.

What do you have instead?

First of all, mono sound! Yes a mono recording made in 1981! Did not stereo recordings become standard in the `50's or `60's? Do the sound engineers (assuming there were any) at the Canadian Opera Company (COC), having failed to record in stereo, not heard of enhancing mono sound for stereo, without any loss in quality. Poor marks for this!

Then the lighting! Could the COC not afford to pay their energy bills in the period preceding this presentation? As it is, there appears to be only one spotlight, and that shines brightly on the front and center stage. All else is dark and murky, and depressing. I cannot comment on the stage props or the costumes of almost all of the supporting performers, as they can barely be seen in the all-pervading shadows.

Then the performance! It might as well be a series of still photographs, with some movement in the lips to confirm that the performers were all alive and not cardboard cutouts. Was this really why the lighting was turned down? Even so, why were all the shots made from a static position? Did they have cameramen of average competence, to pan the cameras a bit, to put some life in the shots?

By the way, both JS and TT were supposed to be temple virgins, but they played what they were at the time - stogy middle-aged. women. FO deservedly did not go very far in the opera world. In that, justice was subsequently done.

No libretto was supplied, and this has become standard for DVD presentations. It is needed in this case however, as the English sub-titles (which incidentally, cannot be turned off), are very sparing. A lot of the nuances in the singing were therefore lost.

The opera did end eventually, or I should really say, expire. This presentation, which lacked dynamic energy and was quite boring at times, simply fizzled out an the end

Then why do I still give it two stars? Simply because JS's singing was generally superb, and so to a lesser extent, was TT's. Viewed as a presentation of arias, and not as a whole opera, there were redeeming moments.

Customer Reviews:

Very terrifing horror fantasy !!!.......2005-04-15

I saw this movie in the 90's on TV. It's a very stilish horror fantasy, by far superior to "Cat People" (1982). Good story, great performances of Jenny Seagrove and Dwier Brown and astonishing visuals.
One of the main elements of this movie was the ill atmosphere, the mistery that was surrounding the entire plot, which reminded me of Stephen King's "Sleepwalkers" (1992).
Another good element that increased the gore and the suspense was the fact that we do know nothing about the origins of this ancient supernatural force.
You mustn't miss this amazing movie!!!

Silly, but quite enjoyable horror thriller........2002-09-04

I always enjoy a good splatter flick and while I wouldn't necessarily call The Guardian a "good" film, it sure as hell is an entertaining one. The plot's pretty silly, with Jenny Seagrove as Camilla, a newly hired caretaker of a young couple's (Dwier Brown and Cary Lowell) infant son. Camilla appears to be the perfect nanny, sweet and loving, but actually, she's a Druid who needs the baby to prolong her immortal life, or something to that effect (the movie really didn't explain too much, and if you think I gave anything away by mentioning her as a Druid, the opening subtitles already state that info). She's also got a weird relationship with a big tree in the forest.

The film's got a lot of stupidity here and there, especially the young couple, who don't bother checking Camilla's references before hiring her, or the fact that this caretaker happens to be able to move around so many residences freely without too much suspicion (okay, for a while, at least). And considering the fact Camilla's a Druid, where'd she get this tree? This is set in L.A., not Europe. As I said before, not much is answered, and I guess I should be grateful because I can't imagine any answers that wouldn't delve the material into further silliness.

But I credit director William Friedkin for handling all this with a straight face. Some of this stuff (particularly the scenes with the tree) could have been played as camp, but I'm rather glad Friedkin plays this seriously and, as he did with The Exorcist, he manages to craft some truly suspenseful and frightening moments here. Still, the film does slide into scenes that simply can't be taken very seriously; you'll know what I mean when you see the chainsaw scene near the end of the movie.

Unlike The Exorcist, he shows no restraint with violence, preferring to give us several enjoyably gory death scenes and a LOT of blood spattering everywhere. There's also a decent amount of nudity present, courtesy of the rather lovely Jenny Seagrove. She's not quite as effective a horror villainess as, say, Mathilda May in Lifeforce, but gets the job done. Dwier Brown and Cary Lowell are okay, a little flat during some scenes and certainly not aided by a script that makes them act like idiots, but are convincing enough as caring and concerned parents.

Surprisingly very little music is used, with Friedkin trying to use the sounds of the wind and other such natural elements to create goosebumps. It's a good attempt, and while it works during two very lengthy, suspenseful sequences, he's still no M. Night Shyamalan. Considering the rather negative critical response The Guardian received, it's easy to see why Friedkin hasn't made a genre film since. But I enjoyed almost every minute of it would recommend it to horror fans seeking a quick-paced, gory thriller.

Well it is entertaining...........2002-07-23

The movie starts with a text about druids who worshipped trees and sacrificed human victims to them. After that there is a prologue where a family's nanny does this. Then we get to know the heroes of the movie, Phil and kate, just moved to Los Angeles and expecting a baby. After the baby boy is born, they find Camilla, who seems to be the perfect nanny. But under the charming surface lies a dark secret... You figure out the rest...

This movie is occasionally a little silly and without the info about the druids in the beginning, the story wouldn't make much sense. But that doesn'r matter. The Guardian is a nice and entertaining movie. A sequence in the middle of the movie and the ending are especially good. Jenny Seagrove is very good as Camilla. While not a masterpiece, this is an entertaining movie, definitely worth watching and a fun addition to your movie collection.

Watch it on Sunday afternoon cable..........2002-05-11

...at least via television, you won't feel guilty when you get bored and retire to re-organize your sock drawer. This is B-movie drivel of the highest order.

Allow me to put this in perspective for you. I have only walked out of two movies, ever! "Arachnophobia" and "The Guardian." Truth be told, I'm a fan of Friedkin's work from "The Exorcist." His adaptation of his own novel was exceptionally executed and character driven. This film is merely a shallow attempt by a movie studio to bank on the naivete of horror fans. How? By repackaging and disguising a slasher script with clever direction by a horror film veteran and his impressive dossier.

Friedkin's vision is second to none, but the message and the suspense get lost in the predictable, cookie-cutter plot. Friedken works best as a builder of suspense by cultivating the charaters involved in the cine-play. The script for this film does not allow for this crucial development to take place. Thus, once the blood starts flowing we feel no remorse for any character's loss, or for the loss of any character for that matter. Very sad.

You will not be disappointed in Friedkin's direction. Hence the two stars. However, with dim narrative support, the film comes off as if Friedkin had been handed a butter knife to carve the Thanksgiving turkey. The vision is there, but the tools are not.

Save yourself twenty clams. If you want slasher suspense, invest in "Friday the 13th." Wait for this one to show up on UPN or a Turner network.

a great 80's horror film.......2002-01-10

and i love the idea of a baby-eating killer tree!

Casta Diva - A Romanticized Biography of Bellini

Average customer rating:

Casta Diva - Romamticized Biography of Belini

Casta Diva - A Romanticized Biography of Bellini
Starring: Maurice Ronet , Caterina Mancini , Rome Opera , Gianni Poggi , and Giulio Neri
Manufacturer: Bel Canto Society
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B0006419SW
Release Date: 2004-12-28

Customer Reviews:

Casta Diva - Romamticized Biography of Belini.......2007-03-18

The brief life of Vincenzo Bellini (1801-1835) is in wonderful 98 minutes film from the days he was a student in Naples to the openning of his famous opera "Norma". The film is with full of his beautiful music. Acting is excellent and the direction is good.

Average customer rating:

Great potential that is never fully realized...
whose your mummy?
Nothing to really brag about
Not a horror movie
Soundtrack Info

The Eternal: Kiss of the Mummy
Starring: Rachel O'Rourke , Lois Smith , Alison Elliott , Jared Harris , and Sinead Dolan
Director: Michael Almereyda
Manufacturer: Lions Gate
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00000IXC2
Release Date: 1999-07-20

Amazon.com

Michael Almereyda, whose unusual career finds him bouncing between personal experimental movies and genre pictures, is back in commercial territory with the supernatural thriller The Eternal, which was given the opportunistic yet appropriate subtitle Kiss of the Mummy to cash in on the success of 1999's The Mummy. Alison Elliot and Jared Harris star as an alcoholic American couple who travel to Scotland with their son so he can meet his grandmother and, ostensibly, so they can dry out. ("Ale isn't like alcohol. It's like food," she explains to her dubious son as she immediately violates her vow to quit drinking.) Unfortunately, they walk in on their crazed uncle (Christopher Walken), who is in the midst of reviving a centuries-old Druid witch--who looks just like Alison Elliot! Almereyda manages to create some genuinely spooky moments (the underwater photography in particular takes on a dreamy beauty), but much of the film has a slapdash quality, from clumsy special effects to awkward performances. The exception is Elliot, excellent as usual in the double role and conveying more with her eyes alone than many actors can manage with words, while Jared Harris offers a dead-on Walken impression in a humorous interlude. It's a gorgeous film with a marvelously eerie soundtrack, but the story is too slight to carry the tension through to the end. --Sean Axmaker

Customer Reviews:

Great potential that is never fully realized..........2006-11-11

I really wish that Michael Almereyda had kept the alternate title for this movie, which was Trance. The Eternal: Kiss of the Mummy is a terrible title, and the cover graphics make it look like any other lame horror flick. But it's not.

The Eternal is traditional mummy/haunted house/zombie movie, but with interesting details. A woman who emigrated from Ireland at the age of 16 returns to her native country with her Irish-American husband (I think; Jared Harris looks like a short version of Conan O'Brien here) and their son. She and her husband are alcoholics and want to start over by reuniting with her grandmother and uncle. You can tell that they love their son, but they neglect him by drinking. It's not a typical mummy movie set-up, and it makes you see the characters as people and not just victims.

It returns to conventions with the addition of her invalid grandmother, her crazy uncle, and the mysterious little girl he adopted. But even these have twists. The mummy is a Druid corpse and not an Egyptian one. Christopher Walken makes the uncle simultaneously hilarious and terrifying. And the little girl is the most sane one in the house. With the exception of the grandmother, who seemed one-dimensional, the characters are well-played. There are slight touches of other films in it: Psycho, Days of Wine and Roses, What Lies Beneath, even Straw Dogs.

Michael Almereyda's Hamlet is one of my favorite movies, but since The Eternal obviously does not have Shakespeare's writing, it exposes Almereyda's weakness in plot development. Once the scariness sets in, the story becomes so loosely constructed that it's hard to determine what's actually happening. And that's how the film dies, so to speak.

Overall, it's a good movie but not a great one.

whose your mummy?.......2004-05-14

this one gave me a sort of chill down the center of my spine. Jared Harris(Igby Goes Down), his wife played superbly by Allison Elliott(dont know whatelse shes played in) and their son go for a vaction in Scotland to where Elliott used to grow up. Their they meet Joe, a guy who Elliott loved back then and her relatives, a eeirly Lois Smith(Minority Report) and a ever so mad frankensteinish Christopher Walken(Catch Me If You Can, Envy). Walken brings Elliott to the basement where a centuries old corpse of a mummy lies. He tells her a chilling tale about love and death. Pretty much what you'd expect from Walken, thought I sort of knew he would die. He looked more like a pale vampireish figure (with one blind eye). Maybe it was the red robed coat that gave it away. The mummy is in the shape of Elliott and it's on the loose when it gets done chopping poor Walken to bits. It goes on, roaming threw the house. Tensions flare and chills fly. Camera work is dizzy and amazing. Almereya knows how to make you feel like your there. Harris does a nice Walken impression...Elliott is sexy as ever and Karl Geary(was in 2000's Hamlet with Ethan Hawke with was also directed by Michael Almereya, forgive me if I spelled his last name wrong), Geary is a nice supportee with his long tied back hair and gun. He was bitchin in this movie. Some people might not like this type of movie but I did really enjoy it and I watched it last night. So I recommend this movie

Nothing to really brag about.......2003-01-24

Eternal is an OK horror film. The idea is that Nora and her Husband Jim, along with their son Jim, travel to Ireland to visit her ailing grandmother. While there she stays with her Uncle Bill (Christopher Walken) who seems to be as ecentric and insane as he described her Grandmother. FOund this 2000 year old druid witch mummy in the bog and seems to be trying to ressurect her. HE succeeds and he dies. From there the witch is trying to fuse with Nora and live her life out again for another 100 years or so. As it turns out however that Nora Grandmotehr is Good Witch and with Nora help slays the evil witch.

This movie is only Ok and is a weekend rental. There is mild violence and gore, and really the R rating goes for the [f]word ... being said a few times, a slit throat, and a lot of drinking.

Not a horror movie.......2001-11-29

This is not really a horror movie, more of a psychological
thriller. In fact, it's not even all that heart-pumping
suspenseful. Rather, it has a cool rhythm and sense of
inevitability and growing dread. The camerawork is beautiful,
Almereyda's direction is deliberately choppy to give you a
sense of what the usually drunk) characters are feeling.
The soundtrack is great. I loved this movie, which is why
I went out and bought the DVD. I thought it was lovely and
uplifting, while still delivering B-movie thrills.

Soundtrack Info.......2001-10-18

For anyone wondering about the origins of the first track of
this film, it's a song titled "Rockets" by Cat Power. I've
always loved this song and was quite surprised to hear it in
a film. This movie surprised me quite a bit. Much better than
I expected, especially considering the horrible DVD cover that
the studio gave it.

Average customer rating:

Breathtakingly bad!
Invasion of the Schlockmeisters is more like it...
Man What a Movie... Such Great Dialogue
A Classic
The Lawrence of Arabia of Sangroid Druid Movies!!!

Invasion of the Blood Farmers
Starring: Allan Charlet , Warren D'Oyly-Rhind , Bruce Detrick , Tom Edwards , and Xanthe Ellis
Manufacturer: Retro Media
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00005MM5P
Release Date: 2001-07-10

Customer Reviews:

Breathtakingly bad!.......2004-04-08

What do you think of when you hear the words "bad movie"? For most members of the movie going public, bad cinema translates into big budget disasters like "Gigli" or "Batman and Robin." And if you listed these two films as miserable dreck barely worth mentioning without cringing, you would be correct. Big studio pictures that take a tumble are horrific to watch. But for a certain small segment of the public, these sorts of films really don't represent the worst of the worst. Sure, watching Arnie Schwarzenegger don his Mr. Freeze outfit is worth a chuckle or two, as is witnessing Affleck's attempts at a New Yawk accent, but for real kicks you have to dig much deeper. Those stalwart souls who wish to view the truly horrific need to check out movies made during the golden age of the drive-in. During the 1950s, 1960s, and 1970s, the drive-in provided audiences with spectacularly bad films, real howlers that would give anyone a nervous breakdown. "Invasion of the Blood Farmers" falls neatly into this category, a category that shelters movies like "Blood Feast" and "Manos, The Hands of Fate." Yep, "Invasion" is as bad as "Manos," if not worse. Of course, I loved this film because I simply adore bad movies made by people who haven't a clue as to how to construct a motion picture.

"Invasion of the Blood Farmers" tells the story of an ancient cult of druids (!) called Sangroids disguised as farmers in the modern day. These bib overall wearing dudes--there appear to be about three or four of them total--start working their way through the residents of Jefferson Valley in order to harvest a supply of blood. They need plenty of the red stuff to carry out various cheesy rituals and to resurrect their comatose queen, a lady who spends most of the film lying around in a glass box looking anemic. Unfortunately for the blood farmers, a local scientist, his daughter, and her goofy boyfriend not so quickly catch on to the unfolding hijinks. Problems start when the daughter's dog disappears under mysterious circumstances, a local man stumbles into a bar in a terrible state, and the scientist finds some blood that reproduces itself at an amazing rate. Meanwhile, the blood farmers spend their time pumping blood out of bodies with some sort of Rube Goldberg contraption and yucking it up over their slumbering monarch. Eventually, the scientist and his assistant meet up with a professor at the local university who seems to know a lot more about the strange events in Jefferson Valley than he is willing to let on about. "Invasion of the Blood Farmers" doesn't conclude as much as it judders to a halt when the scientist, with daughter and boyfriend in tow, locks horns with the druids during the resurrection ritual at the end of the film.

Just in case you get bored with the idea of a sleeping druid, some guy referred to as Creton (more like Cretin) pops up from time to time to help move the film along. This chap, who overacts with a ferocity rarely witnessed in any form of cinematic expression, is a true find for the bad film fan. He whines, he gesticulates, he commands, he violates every known rule of acting; this is a man who knows his limitations but simply doesn't care. You won't, either, after witnessing his histrionic performance. I really shouldn't pick on Creton since none of the performances in the film are worth mentioning except in tones of absolute derision. I found the guy who played the scientist especially annoying. At the end of the film, the man does something very kind for his daughter and then LAUGHS AND LAUGHS in a very disturbing manner. What is he laughing about and why is he laughing so hard? Who knows, but that scene alone provides all the shocks you'll get out of this film.

Nothing works in "Invasion," absolutely nothing unless you count utter badness as a virtue. The cinematography resembles a style used in atrocity footage, and the film stock is in such bad shape that it looks like the director shot his movie in psychedelic-vision. Large chunks of the movie fade in and out amidst oceans of grain and haze, colors suddenly turn wacky, and the scenes look as though director Ed Adlum spliced them together with a chainsaw. And the special effects! Ha! What did they use for blood, a fizzy fruit drink? I'm not even going to excavate the mountain of continuity errors and just plain dumb dialogue in the film. To do so would simply take too long and require more energy than I am capable of at this point. "Invasion" will stupefy you with its dazzling array of banalities, overwhelm you with its sublime stupidity. Forget "Gigli" folks; "Invasion of the Blood Farmers" is the archetype of garbage cinema.

The DVD is odd for such a bad movie. There's a big windup from Fred Olen Ray before the movie even starts. Ray's directed plenty of bad movies in his own right, so his presence here is at the least appropriate and at the most annoying. Freddie and some floozies perform a few lame sketches in an effort to get you to send in a card enclosed with the DVD. Skip past this junk to get right to the gold: "Invasion of the Blood Farmers," some stills from the film, and a boatload of schlock trailers. Only those viewers with iron constitutions and brains of lead should give this one a go. It's an atrocious film sure to upset most people's outlook on life. Would I watch it again? You bet. Cheese never tasted as good as this.

Invasion of the Schlockmeisters is more like it..........2003-12-31

There are good movies and there are bad movies. There are also numerous good bad movies, the ones that are amateur in presentation but made with such good intentions that they are actually enjoyable. (Plan 9 from Outer Space and Bucket of Blood are perfect examples of good bad movies.) And then there are the bad bad movies. These films are slapped together with whatever wannabe actors (i.e. friends and family) are willing to spout inane lines of dialogue in front of a camera. Shaky camera work is coupled with the use of grainy film stock that might as well have been purchased at a tag sale. Interior and exterior sets are confined to Mom's house and backyard. Special makeup effects wouldn't be possible without the neighborhood party store's Halloween section.

These are the exploitation flicks, the cult films, the drive-in movies of yore. Except for unintentional humor, there is no redeeming value to this peculiar film subgenre characterized by shock value and horrible execution. Invasion of the Blood Farmers is a perfect example of the latter.

Local yokels in Jefferson Valley are disappearing at an alarming rate. The chief of police is out of town, so the disappearances are of great concern. One of the town drunks stumbles into his home away from home bleeding profusely and gurgling incoherently before he finally succumbs in front of the rest of the barflies' startled eyes. When the town pathologists analyze his blood, they discover that it has been tainted by an outside agent that causes red blood cells to reproduce at an alarming rate. As evidence, a test tube that originally contained a drop of the victim's blood is now overflowing with the red stuff.

The force behind the disappearances and the mysterious "plasma disorder" is a group of Druids taking up residence at a neighboring farm. Their aim is to resurrect the Queen of the Sangroids. In order to do this, they must feed her blood. Sounds easy enough, but there's a catch: the blood must be of a type that does not react to the agent that causes accelerated blood cell growth. Therefore, the Druids go about draining all the locals of their blood (with what looks like an air compressor!) and then testing it to see if they have found the right person to revive their dead queen.

Invasion of the Blood Farmers is one of those movies you watch with constantly raised eyebrows. The no-budget production value and deplorable acting make a 1-900 "chat" line commercial look like high art. With a movie like this, you can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness, especially the script. For example, a character relating a story about the weird goings-on he witnessed at the Druid farm wistfully says, "If I only had a camera, I woulda had a picture." Somewhere, Ed Wood is cringing.

One usually thinks of Druids as black-cloaked, gothic dudes performing rituals by holding goblets up to the full moon at Stonehenge. The Druids in this film are farmers who would look more at home in 2000 Maniacs, although there is one black-cloaked dude. He is their leader, a young guy whose hair and sideburns are highlighted with white shoe polish to make him look older. The farmer Druids work to collect blood for him to resurrect the Queen, a hilarious process in which the victim is tied down and fitted with a transfusion kit set in reverse so the blood comes out rather than going in. The sound of the dripping, draining blood is amusingly overemphasized; the process sounds like a brewing pot of coffee.

Special mention needs to be made about the "multicultural" cast. The myriad of employed accents rivals those in Meryl Streep's repertoire. Although all villains are Druids, some speak with an overarticulated British accent while the farmers use the good ol' boy drawl of Jefferson Valley, USA. The town professor/pathologist puts on a slight faux Brit accent also, presumably to give him an air of respectability and importance. The funniest, however, is the sheriff's tough-guy Brooklyn accent. It's Mayberry as run by Tony Soprano. I'm still not sure whether or not this was intentional. But I don't think the filmmakers thought that hard about it - I think the New Yawk enunciations are there because that's how the actors really speak. As proof, there's a character in overalls and a cowboy hat who pronounces words like "work" and "thing" as "woik" and "ting."

What's good about this movie? You mean the preceding the three paragraphs didn't prompt you to rush out and buy this movie for the sheer cheesiness of it all? Well, they should. Invasion of the Blood Farmers is a movie in the same vein as The Corpse Grinders. It's truly a drive-in movie, the type they never show on TV - and when they do, it's on some obscure channel at 4:00 a.m. And it is absolutely horrible, from the sets to the makeup to the acting...especially the acting. Ed Adlum's direction elevates Herschell Gordon Lewis to the ranks of Orson Welles. It is just this type of movie that made Mystery Science Theater 3000 a hit. Invasion of the Blood Farmers is awful, uninspiring...and fun. When you can gather a bunch of friends to sit through a movie and hurl rapid-fire witticisms at the screen, well that just makes for an entertaining night and a film that will be looked upon with nostalgia. I remember a time when Invasion was playing at a now-defunct drive-in nearby that specialized in B-movies. If my memory serves me, it shared the marquee with Motel Hell. Years later, I came across an old newspaper advertisement for that drive-in and just the names of those movies made me misty-eyed with reminiscence. Invasion of the Blood Farmers is a far worse movie than Motel Hell (which, in my eyes, falls under that "good bad movie" category). But it's worth a look at least once if only to give your overworked brain a taste of junk food.

Invasion of the Blood Farmers is presented in 1.85 non-anamorphic widescreen (like it matters). To put it nicely, the transfer is below average, even though the DVD box proudly declares that the film is remastered from the original 35mm negative. I don't fault the distributor, however, as the source material was never high quality to begin with. The picture is not necessarily grainy, but soft, almost as if lensed through a filter. Colors are muted and washed out. There are some brief moments in the film where the picture is so grainy and discolored it's unwatchable, almost like a piece of filmstrip was immersed in acid or something. I call it "cinematography by Zapruder". An example is when the screen turns entirely green for about 45 seconds. Artistic expression or poor filmmaking - you make the call.

The Dolby 2.0 mono sound is sub-standard, but what did you expect? Dialogue is hollow, but I have a feeling that is a characteristic of the movie's overall low budget and not the fault of the sound mixers. I might be able to forgive the disc that one fault; however, the rest of the movie sounds so awful I can't find anything positive to say. More than once, the words coming out of actor's mouths are a second or two behind their lip movements - there is no excuse for that since the actors are speaking English! Inappropriately loud swells of music occur during tense or "dramatic" scenes and only serve to drown out any audible conversation. Obnoxious theatrical thunderclaps permeate the Druid ritual scenes and are as loud as a stampede of hysterical elephants escaping the circus. Wearing horseshoes.

The supplements on this disc are barely informational but all promotional. You start off with "Night Owl Theater" featuring schlock producer and host Fred Olen Ray. At first, I thought this would be a cool intro to the movie, similar to Joe Bob Brigg's Drive-In Totals. No such luck. This is purely a promo item with Fred and some out-of-work strippers hocking Retromedia products and urging viewers to send away for free stuff. Related to this is yet another product push disguised as a "supplement" that is a special offer for an Evil Toons animation cel. Night Owl bloopers are also included - I consider that to be a supplement of a supplement. As if that isn't enough, Night Owl Theater appears before the movie starts and the Evil Toons Special Offer turns up after the credits roll, ensuring that audiences don't miss the plugs.

With the shameless self-promotion out of the way, fans of Invasion of the Blood Farmers can enjoy an extensive still gallery of the most memorable shots from the movie set to its score. After that, you can enjoy the original theatrical trailer. But wait...there's more! Also included are five other trailers for films released under Retromedia's Fred Olen Ray Night Owl Theater collection: Angel Eyes, Evil Spawn, Fatal Justice, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers and Scalps.

Bad movies...you gotta love 'em. Or at least some of them. I am a true fan of the bad movie when it is done with a modicum of self-aware humor combined with the genuine efforts of a moderately competent cast and crew. Invasion of the Blood Farmers has neither. This is a bad movie and everyone involved knows it. I'm fairly certain that when filming wrapped, the parties involved knew there would be no need to prepare an Oscar night acceptance speech. Let me emphasize, though, that I have more respect for the type of movie that at least acknowledges its dreadfulness than I do for glossy, overproduced dreck that passes for a blockbuster these days (Godzilla 1998, anyone?). If first-rate horror is what you seek, buy The Exorcist. But if you just want to hunker down in front of your TV late one night and throw popcorn at the screen, Invasion of the Blood Farmers may be just what the doctor ordered.

Man What a Movie... Such Great Dialogue.......2003-08-13

I really loved the Prof. Character.. The always witty banter between the Prof. and his boy assistant... Here's a good example, something like this:

Boy Assistant: "I saw a sign of a struggle near the river. There was blood on the ground!"

Prof: "Probably just woodchucks"

Also, glad the town is in the hands of the genius chief..

A Classic.......2002-06-22

This movie is hysterical, if you like bad horror movies you'll love it. I wonder how much they had to pay The Queen of the Sangroid for her performance.

The Lawrence of Arabia of Sangroid Druid Movies!!!.......2001-12-18

A must for any and all fans of really really bad movies. This little known gem is actually MORE entertaining than any HG Lewis film and ranks alongside the best of Ed Wood. The "story" revolves around a bunch of "Sangroid Druids" attempting to resurrect their queen by finding a suitable "Blood Hooost". You won't be-BELIEVE! the acting/dialogue and camera work. Insane. Highlights: the doctor's facial expressions, the obviously medicated out of her mind lead actress, and the over the top acting of "Kreton". Blood Farmers is the best of the worst.

Average customer rating:

How did mankind survive before there were shovels?
Desperate Indeed!!!!
Stay Away From This!!!!!
do not buy, do not rent, you will thank me
Evil Dud

Desperate Souls
Starring: Thomas Gofton , Ben Mckenzie , Breanne TeBoekhorst , Ryan Barrett , and Matt Kowall
Director: Philip Carrer , Phillip Carrer , and Chad Archibald
Manufacturer: Lions Gate
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B000ARTMTI
Release Date: 2005-10-04

Customer Reviews:

How did mankind survive before there were shovels?.......2007-08-04

Okay, here goes. These orphans, who all look to be in their twenties decide to escape from the cruel orphanage. They work out this clever plan. The clever plan? Get out of bed and walk out the unlocked door then wait for the security guard to come out and beat him to death so they can then walk away. Yeah, that was clever. So they escape the orphange and they go into the woods where there is this book, passed down from the Druids. So they won't be caught and returned to the orphange, (even though they are all old enough to be holding down real jobs), they commit mass suicide, using some Druid spell, so that they can come back some time in the future when some unsuspecting souls wander into the woods and step into their magic circle. One guy and I have no idea where he came from, becomes the guardian of the circle and it is his destiny to defend the circle and make sure no one ever goes into the circle and be possessed by the orphans. So what does he do to make sure no one ever steps into the circle by accident? He builds a wall around it. Unfortunately, the wall is only about one inch high. Really..I'm not making this up. So a group of hikers (woo-hoo! unsuspecting souls)wander into the woods and all but one of them walks or trips or stumbles into the circle (I'm having trouble going on because this is so stupid) and they become possessed by the deceased orphans. The guardian, who was apparently sleeping on the job when this happens, decides he has to hunt down the now possessed people and destroy them to protect the Earth. He enlists the aid of the one guy from the hiker group who was not possessed to help. (And this guy is dumber than dirt) The guardian and the idiot hiker guy then enlist the aid of some young woman who is just a random friend of the guardian. So how do you track down these demons from the pit? I guess the plan was just to run in mindless panic, hiding in stupid places and hoping the demons find you, which they did with incredible ease. So after the demon orphans, one by one, never as a group find our three heroes, they are then dispatched by the guardian's secret weapon. Again, I'm not making this up. Now when I'm fighting demons, my arsenal consists of things like holy water, wooden stakes and silver bullets. A nice sharp sword that might behead one of the demons might come in handy too. Maybe carry a small Bible in a pocket. What does our hero use? A shovel he gets from a hardware store. With his trusty shovel, Excaliber, he beats the demons back to the burning pit. The only thing worse than the plot of this mess is the acting by an entire cast, and particularly the guardian guy. I have never seen such horrible acting. This guy should be the poster boy for bad acting. If you don't pay attention in drama class, this could be you. Anyway, if you want to see some incredibly bad acting in a movie that makes absolutely no sense at all with poor make-up and terrible camera work, this might be for you.

Desperate Indeed!!!!.......2006-03-06

What a waste of time! I rented this expecting a good horror movie awaited me. Wrong. Although there was some gore in this movie, the plot was stupid, the acting was bad and it was a boring movie. Don't waste your money on even renting this.

Stay Away From This!!!!!.......2006-02-28

This should go straight to the garbage. They should have a rating of "0" for this piece of junk.

do not buy, do not rent, you will thank me.......2006-02-23

oh my god this was a bad movie, my friend and I rented it and watched it all the way through just to laugh at the acting(and camera angles, and special effects and plot) this was not worth my well earned $2.

and for those who saw this movie, i feel your pain.(that dude never put down his shovel! what the hell?)

Evil Dud.......2006-01-14

WARNING: possible spoilers ahead...

In DESPERATE SOULS, a bunch of teenagers who go for a hike in the woods are possessed by demons and they start killing each other. The basic storyline is like EVIL DEAD but this movie has no style whatsoever and doesn't have the benefit of Sam Raimi's direction. This is more like Evil Dud.

I'm surprised that this awful movie wasn't made and distributed by the Asylum. It had all the shoddy production values, cardboard acting and horrible video camera quality of most Asylum movies. The storyline was extremely hard to follow, and after a while I just stopped trying to make sense of it. I'm not even sure exactly how or why these teens were possessed by demons. There's a vague reference to an ancient book of Druidic magic, which I guess serves the same purpose that the Necronomicon did in Evil Dead.

To give you an idea of how flaccid and forgettable this movie is, I can't even tell you how it ended. This should be filed with every movie from the Asylum and CreepFX under Complete Waste of Time and Money.

Average customer rating:

Only fair
WHEN YOU HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING ELSE
A FEARED OF THE CAMP
It's made with REAL Van Patten, so you know it's good...
SO BAD IT'S GOOD!!!

Camp Fear
Starring: Suzanne Ager , Dori Courtney , Erika Nann , Vincent Van Patten , and Betsy Russell
Director: Thomas A. Keith
Manufacturer: Image Entertainment
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B0007LXOYG
Release Date: 2005-04-05

Description

Near the end of the world, gangs terrorize young sorority campers while a revived Druid giant recreates Stonehenge for some bloody sacrifices.

Customer Reviews:

Only fair.......2007-03-24

I'm a huge fan of these campy, silly T&A "horror" movies, but this one doesn't deliver. Oh it delivers the T&A all right, all during the first 10 minutes or so. We get a college dorm full of naked and half naked babes, taking showers and all that good stuff. From there the story follows some girls and their college professor as they go on an archaeological exploration out in the woods. A biker gang takes an interest in them and follows them out into the forest. They encounter a mysterious Indian, a giant Druid, a lake monster, and even a miniature Stonehenge. The Druid needs to sacrifice some virgins in order to avert the end of the world or something, and luckily these girls just happened to wander into his neck of the woods.

What I didn't care for in this movie was the characters - they're not bad, but they're not really sympathetic, they don't have much of any personality, and we don't care about them. Usually these movies are very character based, as silly as that may be for something with bad acting and a low budget, but that's where the camp appeal has to start. This one misses the mark entirely. The story also seemed rather rushed with much of its time spent watching the goofy biker gang trying to find the girls; The whole Druid / end of the world plot gets short shrift and loses all the impact (or at least cheesy interest) that it might have had.

Overall, pretty crummy little movie but if you're looking for a silly film with naked babes (only in the first 10 minutes) and a really wacky plot, this should be at least somewhat satisfying. Otherwise I'd recommend something like Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, Chopping Mall, or Sorority House Massacre II - Nighty Nightmare. All those hit the mark as far as camp, this one misses.

WHEN YOU HAVE SEEN EVERYTHING ELSE.......2005-06-02

THIS MOVIE WAS SO BAD, THAT IT IS GOOD. WHEN YOU ARE TIRED AND DO NOT FEEL LIKE GOING THROUGH YOUR LIBRARY OF DVD'S, PULL THIS ONE OUT OF THE FRONT. THE ACTING WAS ACCEPTABLE, BUT THE GIANT AND THE LAKE MONSTER WERE AKIN TO THE HAND PUPPETS USED IN THE OLD GODZILLA/KING KONG MOVIES. THERE WAS NO STORY LINE. VINCE VAN PATTEN IS ONE OF THOSE ACTORS WHO SHOULD HAVE HAD A BETTER CAREER. THE WOMEN IN THIS MOVIE WERE DECENT ACTORS, BUT 100% EYE CANDY. I THINK THE GIRLS WITH THE BIGGER BOOBS GOT HIRED FOR THIS CAMPY LAUGH FEST. ALL OF THE FIGHT SCENES COULD HAVE BEEN LONGER AND MORE VIOLENT. ALL IN ALL, NOT A GOOD MOVIE, BUT WORTH AN OCCASIONAL VIEWING.

A FEARED OF THE CAMP.......2005-06-01

ONCE IN A WHILE A GOOFY MOVIE COMES ALONG, AN UNKNOWN THAT JUST MAKES YOU LAUGH, MAKES YOU GROAN AND MAKES YOU WONDER "WHY'D THEY MAKE THIS."
HERE IT IS. NOT MEANT TO BE FUNNY BUT YOU HAVE TO LAUGH.
WHEN YOU NEED SOMETHING LIGHT AND AMUSING THIS IS IT.

It's made with REAL Van Patten, so you know it's good..........2005-05-17

That's right, kiddies. This one has preeetty much everything you could ever hope for a movie to have, if you like REALLY low-budget, low-key, sardonic b-movies, and Camp Fear is certainly that. I bought the movie after an extensive, decade-long hunt for the non-existant 'Cheerleader Camp II'. It led me here, to a film that was probably once 'Cheerleader Camp II' in its earliest stage of development, but after one of it's investors (Prism) went belly-up, it apparently underwent a full script and title change, re-emerging as this quaint, tepid little swath of back-bacon known as Camp Fear.

Like I said, the movie's got pretty much everything, and I was initially put off by the idea of e