Evolution

Amazon.com

Based on the evidence in Evolution, one thing is perfectly clear: special effects have evolved, but director Ivan Reitman has reverted to primitive pandering. Equally obvious is the fact that Evolution is a de facto rip-off of Reitman's 1984 classic Ghostbusters, but this time there's no Bill Murray to deliver the best punch lines (we have to settle for fellow ghostbuster Dan Aykroyd in a broad supporting role), and the comedy has devolved into a grossfest including deep-rectal extraction of alien insects, fire-hose enemas into a giant alien sphincter, and a full-moon display of David Duchovny's naked posterior. Whereas Ghostbusters was a shrewd, irreverent mainstream comedy that combined gooey spectral ectoplasm with something resembling genuine wit, Evolution is a crude, juvenile romp in which all things slimy are elevated to comedic supremacy.

Granted, that's not always a bad thing. As latter-day ghostbuster equivalents, Duchovny, Orlando Jones, and Seann William Scott make a fine comedic trio, and Julianne Moore is equally amusing as a clumsy scientist and Duchovny's obligatory love interest. Despite the meddling of clueless military buffoons, they join forces to eradicate a wild variety of rapidly evolving alien creatures that arrived on Earth via meteor impact, and the extraterrestrial beasties (courtesy of effects wizard Phil Tippet and crew) are outrageously designed and marvelously convincing. For anyone who prefers lowbrow humor, Evolution will prove as entertaining as Ghostbusters (or at least Galaxy Quest), while others may lament Reitman's shameless embrace of crudeness. One thing's for certain: after seeing this movie, you'll gain a whole new appreciation for Head & Shoulders shampoo. --Jeff Shannon

Customer Reviews:

If you like monster movies you'll like this!!!.......2007-08-24

What can I say.... Evolution is a comical approach towards the evolution of an alien species which come to earth on a crash landed asteroid/meteor!! This movie gave the producers a unique view as to what creatures would look like on other worlds and the result & special effects were perfect. I really enjoyed this movie but I am still waiting for that monster movie that is rated 18 or adult to see exactly what monsters get up to out of the view of kids!!! Still worth adding to the collection.

Much more fun than its reputation suggests.......2007-05-20

Evolution is a lot more fun that its busted summer would-be blockbuster status implies, although like most Ivan Reitman comedies the concept is funnier than the script. For the first half David Duchovny and Orlando Jones have more exposition than jokes to deal with and Julianne Moore is game but is no natural comedienne, especially when it comes to pratfalls, while Ted Levine's clichéd general is a villain too far. But once it hits its stride and the constantly evolving critters that are the real stars of the show start multiplying and threatening mankind with extinction, it's an enjoyable monster mash that even manages to make a joke of its product placement for Head and Shoulders. Like the aliens it's no world-beater, but it's a brisk and enjoyable romp. Nice score from John Powell too.

DreamWorks DVD has a good selection of extras, including audio commentary, deleted scenes and alternate ending.

hilariously funny.......2007-04-01

This movie was a blast thanks to the director and the cast. The comedic talents of the cast helped make this movie stand out from the more serious invasion movies that have been done before and since.

Monkey's Uncle Darwin.......2007-03-09

This movie is awesome! It may be no Oscar winner but the characters a lovable, the comedy hilarious and the movie teaches you at the same time. It's one of those movies you have to watch with your friends and family.

Comedy? I don't think so.......2007-01-16

Well I want to say just one thing. This movie was funny and damn good Science Fiction.

It seemed to fail in the box office because they labeled it a comedy. It was that but more than anything else and most importantly it was DAMN GOOD SCIFI!

If you missed this one, go back and make amends to yourself and see it NOT as a comedy but as some darn good SciFi.

Average customer rating:

Great
Lots of cameo's
Simply wasted potential
A funny and sincere classic
Funny Cult Classic

Meteor Man
Starring: Cynthia Belgrave , Romelle 'Ro Ro' Chapman , Don Cheadle , Marilyn Coleman , and Bill Cosby
Manufacturer: MGM (Video & DVD)
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00007GZRP
Release Date: 2003-02-18

Amazon.com

Robert Townsend has managed to build an entire career on the basis of one funny movie (The Hollywood Shuffle)--even though he hasn't had one that was anywhere near as funny since. Case in point: This would-be comedy about an unwilling black superhero. Townsend plays a schoolteacher in a bad Washington, D.C., neighborhood that is controlled by a vicious drug gang (recognizable by their blonde-dyed hair). Then he is hit by a meteor and suddenly finds that he has super strength and can fly (and can read the minds of dogs). But Townsend's writing is surprisingly weak and, despite a cast that includes a mugging Bill Cosby, Eddie Griffin, Robert Guillaume, and sadly miscast James Earl Jones, this movie is never able to get off the ground. --Marshall Fine

Description

Robert Townsend (Hollywood Shuffle) leads an all-star cast including Marla Gibbs, Eddie Griffin, Robert Guillaume, James Earl Jones and Bill Cosby in this laugh-out-loud, feel-good comic fantasy about a reluctant superhero on a crusade to save his neighborhood. Move over, Superman! Spineless Jefferson Reed (Townsend) has just discovered his backbone and it's stronger than steel! Amild-mannered substitute teacher, Jefferson would rather run than fight until he's hit by a strangegreen meteor that gives him superhuman abilities. And when a gang led by a powerful drug lord begins terrorizing his family and neighbors, Jefferson has no choice but to don his homemade spandex suitand take it on in a war of cunning, wit and super-powered, super-modeling prowess'to save his 'hood!

Customer Reviews:

Great.......2007-03-25

i live in okinawa, japan. anything i order takes about 2 weeks to get here. my movie came in three days!

Lots of cameo's.......2007-02-07

It was an ok movie, and it had madd cameo's it had Chris Tucker, Bill Cosby and a lot of famous black actors. That aspect maid the movie good.

Simply wasted potential.......2006-09-16

Strange movie. I find it both incredibly stupid and yet entertaining. I dont mean stupid in a campy fun way. I mean "What lame brained idiot wrote this?!?" kind of stupid. If it weren't for such a large array of a very talented all-star cast this movie would have no hope whatsoever. I do admit, as stupid Meteor Man was I actually enjoyed some parts of it very much.

Character development is a major crapfest in this movie. Our hero in my opinion takes way too long to figure out what he has to do and ends up dragging the movie because of it. The villains are major stupids in their entire 'coolness' splendor. What's the deal with the gold Slinky? Pretty much all the characters are pretty one-dimensional and simple minded. That's not to say the acting was the same way. As a matter of fact the acting was superb all things considered. With such big names like Rob Townsend, Bill Cosby, James Earl Jones, Sinbad, and whole mess of others I'm not surprised the acting came up aces. As a matter of fact that's probably the only thing that saved this movie.

Being a superhero movie the special effects are pretty standard for things like flying, laser eyes and of course a crashing meteor (that seems to home in on our hero). In other words the special effects are functional. The things to look for are a few scenes that do shine above all the crap in the rest of the movie. The final fight scene, by the way, is not one of them. For one it's painfully long. I was begging for the final scene to be over it was taking so long. Plus, like much of the writing, it ends up being very, very stupid.

If only a condensed version of this movie was made to squeeze out the lame parts and leave in the good stuff I can recommend it. As it stands you would have to sit through some dumb scenes to get to the good stuff. If you have nothing better to do then give The Meteor Man a chance. Just keep in mind it will be a waiting game here and there until you get to the truly fun scenes.

A funny and sincere classic .......2006-01-15

Meteor Man is sort of a comedy but it teaches you lessons as well. This is a great movie to show to older kids. While trying to be funny it puts across messages that should be taken in and followed. Now maybe people hate the movie because of Robert Townsend's attempt of a wacky super hero or maybe it's just because they have no imagination and can't get on his level.
The story is original and deals with the problems on the streets and Townsend gave what everyone wanted in a neighborhood being harassed by crime, he gave them a super hero. There's a lot of funny scenes in this movie but it took on problems that needed to be dealt with and if Robert Townsend gets low ratings for Meteor Man then maybe nothing will ever change.

Funny Cult Classic.......2006-01-15

I thought it was funny when I first saw it back in the 90's and I baught it two weeks ago. RT reminds me of Eddie Murphy in his role as Meteor Man. You have to be open to this kind of humor to enjoy it. The special effects are good as well. Worth a look.

Average customer rating:

I was run over by a burning ball of fire...
Toasted cheese - 70's style!

The Cremators
Starring: Marvin Howard , Maria De Aragon , Eric Allison , Mason Caulfield , and Ola Kauffman
Director: Harry Essex
Manufacturer: Retro Media
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

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ASIN: B00005U8QC
Release Date: 2002-01-22

Customer Reviews:

I was run over by a burning ball of fire..........2005-06-24

Man (or woman, as the case may be), I'll tell you what, the artwork on the DVD case for the film The Cremators (1972) aka Dune Rollers is what hooked me...sadly, the burning cityscape image depicted is nowhere to be seen in this film...in fact, in terms of excitement, you're better off looking at the case than you are watching this film. Produced, adapted, and directed by Harry Essex, who, a year previously gave us the traumatizing Octaman (1971)...don't judge him too harshly as he did provide the screenplay for the original 1954 creature feature Creature from the Black Lagoon. The film stars Marvin Howard in his big screen debut (it was also his last), along with Maria De Aragon (Blood Mania), and Eric Allison (Blood Mania, Schlock). Also appearing is Barney Bossick (The Golden Box), R.N. Bullard (The Reivers), and Jax Jason Carroll (Wild Riders, Octaman).

Prior to the actual start of the film there's a 3-minute intro piece titled Fred Olin Ray's Drive-In Theater, a name familiar to any aficionado of schlock cinema, which features some nekkidness, so be warned. After this the film begins proper with pictures of interstellar vistas and a voice over relating how, some 300 years ago a meteor crashed on Earth and from it was born a giant ball of fire which chases a Native American down a hill until it caught him and he was reduced to ash...fast forward to the present...after some shots of a hippy cavorting on the beach (?!), we meet our hero, named Dr. Iane Thorne (Howard), and learn he's a scientist studying ecology or some such thing (the film is rife with vagaries). Anyway, during his field research he finds some strange looking rock samples and decides to send them to a colleague named Dr. Willy Seppel (Allison), who we later are told is a bio-physicist (whatever). Thus begins the *yawn* terror as the local mailman who accepts the package with the samples later is burned to a crisp by a giant ball of fire, nothing left of him but ashes in the shape of a human, which are blown away in the wind... `Neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor dark of night, nor giant, flaming, alien fireball shall stay this courier from his appointed rounds.'...okay, I guess the last one is no longer applicable...after this a woman named Jeanne (De Aragon) arrives into town, the comely niece of one of Iane's older friends and we see the buds of the impending romantic angle of the pic (they actually get it on fairly quickly, proving the theory that Earth girls are easy)...followed by Iane performing an autopsy on a deceased kitty, one brought to him by the local hippy. Turns out the cat ate some of the rocks...see the theme here? Anyone in possession of the rocks, later referred to as `Devils Eyes', ends up dead. After the flaming death of a wandering longshoreman (who used one of the rocks to strike a match), the local authorities chalk the accidents to everyday phenomena (bad driving, lighting, etc.), but Iane is skeptical. Around this time Seppel makes the scene and both men start investigating and throwing around theories. Will they be able to solve the mystery of the rocks, or are they destined to all become crispy critters as the alien fire ball(s) consume all?

Given the title of the film I was anticipating a lurid tale involving deranged crematorium workers or some such thing, but all I got was a tepid sci-fi flick with a confusing story and incredibly low body count (I think there were all of about 3 victims, not counting the cat). I did get the sense there was spark of potential here, but it was quickly extinguished by extremely poor direction, rancid acting, uninteresting characters, and a meandering, choppy plot. The film was padded out with meaningless shots (how many times do we have to see the hippy gallivanting on the beach?) I don't know who actually shot this film, but they appeared to lack even the most rudimentary skills in working a camera as many of the scenes consist of shaky, off center, poorly lit shots. There was also a lot of pointless zooming in and out, all done very awkwardly as to bring attention to itself, and draw the viewer out of the film. And speaking of awkward, what was up with the musical scoring? It would often get all dramatic like, indicating something dire was about to happen, and then...nothing. The plot slogs along at an excruciating and uneven pace, fostering a sense of an extremely long film, but in reality the run time is barely an hour and fifteen minutes. There were some positive aspects about the movie. I did really like the special effects, especially the scenes with the fireball (which varied in size, but tended to be as big as a house). We never actually get to see anyone being burned alive, as what would usually happen is the fireball would pursue someone, they would trip clumsily, and the flaming mass would roll over them, leaving behind ashes in the form of a human figure, kind of like a reverse chalk outline. There were also some really odd, yet interesting psuedo psychedelic effects, particularly when the flaming ball would rise from the water and during a nightmare sequence experienced by Iane (Inane would have been a more appropriate name). One effect that got really annoying after awhile was the rocks...when active, they would glow, and also produce a `ting ting' sound. None of the `actors' fared well in this film, but I did sense a level of adequacy in Eric Allison, who played Inane's friend, the bio-physicist Dr. Willy Seppel. By the way, if you were a bit vague as to the when the film was produced, check out the pajamas Willy was sporting as he was staying with Inane...it was some sort of orange/plaid polyester nightmare certainly more frightening that the giant, alien fireball. There was one really unintentionally funny scene involving screeching Jeanne in a boat being pursued by the fireball. You know, prior to operating a motorized watercraft, one should really be familiar with the proper operation, including the existence of the throttle, and its purpose (it makes the boat go).

The picture quality, presented in full screen format, on this Retromedia Entertainment DVD release is about average, with much of the poorness probably inherent due to the lack of quality during production. The audio ranges from decent to muddled, but given the script, we're probably not missing anything in that area. There is one special feature of that of a short interview (under ten minutes) with actress Maria De Aragon shot on video at what appears to have been some sort of sci-fi convention. She relates some interesting information, including how she got the job of playing the ill-fated Greedo in the original Star Wars movie.

Cookieman108

By the way, the title I used is meant to be sung to the tune of the Johnny Cash song Ring of Fire...

Toasted cheese - 70's style!.......2002-09-23

Well, first of all, forget the lurid cover. The movies is based on Julain May's 1951 heavily-anthologized short story "Dune Roller". And you know, someone in the movie actually SAYS "dune roller". That's about the closest the story and film resemble each other, though.

The disc starts with a "drive-in" theme, but don't expect the full "Something Weird" treatment. All you'll get here is some half-nekkid gals swarming over a car collecting "admission", and then some pointless commentary (complete with really bad jokes) before the film actually begins. That's it (thank goodness!) Taking his cue from Ed Wood, anti-auteur Harry Essex has a super-somber narrator voice-over, "There were two witnesses to the fall of the meteor". The first, a generic "Indian", is incinerated into powder. "The second was a fish", more specifically, a hammerhead shark, who seems to have picked the wrong time to wander into Lake Michigan. Yes, that's right - this is SUPPOSED to be on the shores of Lake Michigan. How can you tell? Besides the fact that's where the original story is set, the characters keep making ridiculous references to things like "busy as Main Street in Muskegon". Apparently Mr. Essex (whose previous movie was "Octaman", if you wanted to know) had never been to my home state. The characters all talk as if they are from either the Deep South or from Maine. The shores of the lake vary from 300-foot cliffs to vast, level, sandy beaches, usually within the same scene. The setting itself is sort of left up to the viewer - no one actually comes out and SAYS "here on the shores of Lake Michigan", but oh, well, why bother?

Our protagonist is sporting the longish hair and black turtleneck that were de rigueur for the early 70's intellectual, especially one who is devoted to getting the word "ecology" into the common vocabulary. He finds an unusual-looking rock in a pool (PLEASE tell me that isn't a "tide pool"....) and decides to send it off to Ann Arbor (see, told ya so) for analysis. As it turns out, the unusual-looking rocks are part of the giant ball of fire we saw toasting the "Indian". And for whatever reason, that ball is now on the rampage, looking for it's scattered remains and burning up who- or what-ever gets between it and it's....offspring? That's not enough - apparently it has a personality - it can get angry or remain apathetic. (Great - a giant ball of fire with mood swings....) As you can readily predict, there's going to be more than a couple of folks turned into the equivalent of a full ashtray before the....momma-ball? daddy-ball? is satisfied. The film's composer shows an unusual amount of exposure to classical music - about halfway through, he begins ripping off Shostakovich shamelessly, and for the last two minutes of the movie, he just plain settles for Holst's "Mars".

The leading lady is played by Maria de Aragon, who gets a 10-minute interview after the movie. Why her, and not "star" Marvin Howard? Probably because Howard wanted to crawl under a rock and never be seen again. Ms. de Aragon, on the other hand, was actually in the original "Star Wars"! Huh? you say? Where? Why, she was.......Greedo! (Boy, and she'll let you know it, too - she even has a web site selling autographed pics of "Greedo" and autograped copies of this classic.)

Description

Discover the secrets that prophesy the coming of the cremators as a flaming ball of destruction from outer space begins murdering the people of a seaside resort. A low budget adaptation of the short story "The Dune Rollers."

Customer Reviews:

I was run over by a burning ball of fire..........2005-06-24

Toasted cheese - 70's style!.......2002-09-23

DVD:

DVD

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