The Next Best Thing

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You'd be hard-pressed to find a modern-day couple as impossibly glamorous as Rupert Everett and Madonna; their casting as common folk in the gay-parenting drama The Next Best Thing is just one of the film's myriad problems. (One thing we never needed to see was these two pushing grocery carts in a supermarket. It's just unnatural.) Best friends in sun-dappled L.A. (he's a landscaper, she's a yoga instructor), Abbie (Madonna) and Robert (Everett) fall into an amorous embrace on a fateful Fourth of July after a few too many martinis. Robert's gay, which complicates things; even more complicating is Abbie's confession a few weeks later that she's with child. Six years later, Robert, Abbie, and their son Sam are all living together peacefully and happily--that is, until a hunky investment banker (Benjamin Bratt) starts making eyes at Abbie, throwing their carefully constructed dynamic into disarray.

Lazily directed by Oscar-winner John Schlesinger (Midnight Cowboy) with an eye towards his actors' muscle tone rather than characterizations (even the kid does yoga), the faults in The Next Best Thing aren't solely on the shoulders of its miscast stars, but rather the painfully inept screenplay by Tom Ropelewski. With cardboard dialogue that sounds like bad first-draft material--including wailing by Madonna about how she can't find a man (ha!) and a gym-buffed Everett complaining about gay male body image (double ha!)--the movie stumbles from domestic comedy to custody-suit tragedy when it takes a bizarre left turn in the third act. Any statements about new definitions of family are buried underneath these dubious events, which (of course) provide teary courtroom outbursts for both leads. Everett has a quick way with a one-liner, and Madonna is more relaxed than she's ever been in a film, but Schlesinger just tosses them in front of the camera with no help whatsoever; the supporting cast, including Lynn Redgrave, Neil Patrick Harris, and Illeana Douglas, is also left to flounder inexplicably. There's a thoughtful and provocative movie to be made about gay parents, but The Next Best Thing certainly isn't it. --Mark Englehart

Customer Reviews:

Poor Madonna.......2007-04-25

"The Next Best Thing"

Poor Madonna

Amos Lassen and Cinema Pride

"The Next Best Thing" has a lot going for it. Rupert Everett is a charming and gay leading man, the script is based on a very cute idea--a straight woman and a gay man decide to have a child. The problem is the leading lady, Evita herself, Madonna, just can't act. As Evita Peron she won a Golden Globe but she has not acted decently in any movie she has made besides that one role. I was all ready to be entertained by this film and I was entertained by the scenes without Madonna.
The plot in a very concise way goes like this--two best friends, a gay male (Everett) and a straight female (Madonna) spend the night together, she gets pregnant, they have a son whom they raise together and then she meets a straight man she wants to marry and the whole mess gets messier.
The premise for the movie is good but the script is just awful--there is no continuity, the characters are completely underdeveloped and Everett comes out looking as the bad guy. The child is somewhere and we hate everyone in the movie. The bad guy is the bad guy, the good gay guy is the bad guy, the child is the bad guy, and the boyfriend is the bad guy and so on and on. Madonna is obnoxious. For someone who cries all the time she looks beautiful. She plays a woman let down by one man too many and when she sleeps with her gay fried, she gets pregnant. And then the movie slides toward a mudslide. Now I love Madonna--when she sings and she still is looking good but she is not an actress--wait--she is an actress--a lousy one. A stellar cast with Madonna and Everett, Benjamin Bratt and Lynn Redgrave should make a stellar movie. Instead the made a real stinker. Maybe that is why it moved so fast--so we would not see how bad it is. In fact, it is so bad that it is good. Madonna's vapidity mesmerized me, Benjamin Bratt astounded me at how bad he was, Rupert Everett--I love you but you were terrible and Lynn Redgrave had a few seconds on the screen and was lost.
I rarely give anything a bad review--if something is bad, I choose not to write about it and I would not have written about this movie if I thought it was really bad. But this is not just really bad--it is politically too correct and pitifully awful. Rupert Everett, I am so sorry.

Watchable, .......2007-02-14

This film has suffered very, very bad publicity and very, very bad reviews. But if you choose to see it open-minded, you might just get to like this mess.
"The Next Best Thing" initially sets itself up as a comedy. Robert (played by Rupert Everett) is always there for his best friend Abbie (Madonna), especially when it comes to comfort her over her terrible taste in men. And since he's also keen on men, he gives her a few pointers along the way. However, after a few drinks (and an unbelievably entertaining Fred Astaire-Ginger Rogers act), Abbie gets pregnant. The viewer is then quite surprised when the whole thing turns serious and chaotic as Robert and Abbie decide to live and raise the baby together, and then struggle with problems concerning their family, friends and Abbie's new sweetheart (Benjamin Brett).
Now, the good thing about this film are its stars. Although it's hard to believe that it's taken them 30 minutes of the film to sleep together and that Madonna can't find a man in L.A., they are irresistible. Everett is top-notch as always and Madge has rarely seemed as much at home with a part as she does in this film. They are able to pull off the comedic parts and are good enough when the film surprisingly evolves into a study of family life.
However, the second half of the film doesn't really work. The problem is that "The Next Best Thing" is made of too many different influences and styles connected with very loose bonds. Are you able to go through a sitcom, a melodrama, and a courtroom drama in one film? Yes , it's quite possible to watch the ups and downs of this glamorous couple, but it can be difficult to digest the way they are developed.

This Madonna Movie Had Potential but..........2005-12-31

She keeps on trying doesn't she, our Mads, like the trooper she is. No matter how many times the critics trash her. Honestly, this movie had a lot of potential, with an interesting story line that tackled a kind of a modern day re-definition of family units and the moral dilemmas and choices involved. With its very worthy supporting cast it could have really gone somewhere but just failed to get there.
Madonna god bless you, I truly wish you could read this because I have two bits of stern advice which I'm sure many others would agree with, to help your (flailing) acting career, if it's not too late. Firstly, get some major voice coaching! Your delivery of dialogue is so unbelievably stilted and wooden at times. It's like you've just learnt the script. And what is up with this phoney pseudo half British half American accent you put on? Was that supposed to be part of your character development or research?. Even though her gay best friend 'Robert' is British, the audience would assume 'Abbie' is just an American living in LA. Besides which, it just sounded so fake. I mean we know you've become a bit of an 'Anglo-Phile' now that you're married to a pom (Australian slang for 'English person'), but you don't have to make it part of every character you play now do you? Concentrate on your acting craft before you start with the specialty accents luv. Meryl streep you aint. Secondly, if you want us to believe in Madonna the actress you've got to leave out Madonna the pop star just for a moment, and quit with the mindless marketing of your pop image, just for the sake of selling more records. My god woman, why does nearly everyone of your movies have to feature your music in the soundtrack somewhere? That scene early on in the film, where you all sing American Pie, at the gay friend's lover's funeral, was just sooo embarrassingly contrived and unnecessary. And quite frankly, fond as I am mostly of your music, your recorded version of 'American Pie' was very weak. Just lifeless.
I know I am being a bit harsh but someone really needs to tell you these things, or rather you really need to hear them,'cause I have actually been a fan of yours from the beginning. Despite your money hungry commercialism, you're an amazing artist and woman in so many ways. I see the potential in your performances often and you have an incredible presence on stage and screen that cannot be denied. But when it comes to the craft of acting a lot more subtlety and discipline is required and you need to learn a bit of humility darling, come down to earth.
Now, as for the redeeming features of this movie, and there are some. I would love Rupert Everett in anything he does. He's so cleverly sardonic and witty in that classy British way. Unfortunately though he is sold rather short here due to a poor script and mediocre direction, but I still enjoyed his performance. I must say I did feel awfully sorry for Robert near the end. He must have felt, intentionally or not, tricked and used by Abbie in a way. I mean she really should have taken responsibilty to ensure who the father was initially, don't you think?. Benjamin Bratt is most easy on the eye and a welcome hetero-sexual addition. Also, I loved the colourful 'Sante Fe' style design and setting. As well as Madonna 'hippyish yoga teacher' chic, (though the yoga thing is also somewhat contrived, no doubt Madonna's influence?) Lastly, there are moments (yes some) when Madonna's acting and character are believable. I always find her the most convincing in her character's more casual, fun moments. Which makes me think she is better suited to lighter comedic roles like earlier on in her career. The kid who plays Sam is quite natural and cute. In reality though that poor child would be left feeling so torn and confused after all that had occurred. He's faced with the prospect of three fathers (or at least father roles) in his life. Overall I quite enjoyed the first part, but really lost interest when the 'same old, same old' court room battle scene came around. This movie isn't a total waste of time and it's always interesting to see what 'Queen Madonna' will come up with next.

Take a deep breath, relax - and enjoy!.......2005-12-07

Have you ever bought at the stock market when everybody told you to sell - and won? That's what happened to me with this film. After buying almost all of John Schlesinger's films, I hesistated before ordering this one - in view of all that criticism. But then I assumed that - 1) Schlesinger cannot suddenly make a bad film after making so many excellent ones, and - 2) if so many bad things are said about a film it must somehow be good. Luckily, I was right this time.

Perhaps much of all that criticism springs from unjustified expectations. Let me try to put two points right: First: this is not a film about Madonna, or by Madonna. She is just an actress here - and a good one, just right for the part. Schlesinger does not present her as a singer or a sex symbol - but as a person. Secondly: Nobody has made a promise that this will be an in-depth, politically correct exploration of gay life. This is just a film - and an entertaining one. There is no law in the land that says a gay person cannot be a times a trifle ridiculous or sentimental, like other persons.

Therefore I recommend you follow the advice Madonna gives in her part as a Yoga teacher: Take a deep breath and relax - just enjoy this as another very good Schlesinger film - a real work of art.

Patronising.......2005-05-22

This movie treats gays like preteens keen on, but too afraid to have sex with women. It reeks with anti-gay stereotypes without even being funny. It could be described as Madonna's ego trip delusion that all gay men are hot for her.

Average customer rating:

Hard to Empathize with the Characters (Region 2 DVD)

The Next Best Thing [Region 2]
Starring: Madonna , Rupert Everett , Benjamin Bratt , Illeana Douglas , and Michael Vartan
Director: John Schlesinger
Manufacturer: Touchstone
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

( N ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
ASIN: B000057X1Y

Customer Reviews:

Hard to Empathize with the Characters (Region 2 DVD).......2006-08-31

With all the star power behind this movie, it should have been executed skillfully; pulling the viewer into the lives of nice people, exploring the novel living arrangements and lifestyles of the main characters, even highlighting what should have been a key, dramatic moment in the movie. Instead, the movie drags on for nearly an hour before we have an inkling of what this movie is really about. As it drags itself forcefully along we have great difficulty identifying with the characters or their plight.

Abbie Reynolds (Madonna) is a woman who hears her biological clock ticking. She wants to meet a nice guy and have one or more children. Failing meeting Mr. Right, she would at least like to have a child. After breaking up with yet another boyfriend, Madonna commiserates with a homosexual friend, Robert Whittaker (Ruppert Everett), and the two end up (good heavens!) doing something sexual together. Soon after, Madonna reveals she is pregnant. Robert decides he wants to be fully involved as Sam's (Malcolm Stumpf) father.

Well, time flies and Ben Cooper, excellently played by Benjamin Bratt, enters the picture, quickly falling in love with Abbie. Ben behaves just as we would like or hope he would, and adjusts his life to suit Abbie, Robert and Sam's as much, if not more, than is reasonable. Unfortunately for poor Sam, the relatively immature conflict between Abbie and Sam washes aside all Ben's good deeds and flexibility and a nasty court battle ensues. I'll not give away the ending or any other details in the event you wish to try the movie yourself.

In addition to the star horsepower already mentioned, Lynn Redgrave, Neil Patrick Harris, and Joseph Sommer, all with extensive acting credentials, appear. The director and producer add even more horsepower. The problem is that all this horsepower failed to help me understand the plot, or empathize with the characters. This movie presented a wonderful opportunity to help explore having a homosexual as a parent, and deal more in depth with the issues of homosexuality and stereotypes surrounding homosexuality. Instead, the movie usually pays only brief lip service to those issues. In some cases the movie opens the door to the issue, and then sweeps it under the rug. In one example, Sam asks Robert about a inappropriate word he heard associated with homosexuals, and what the word meant. Instead of dealing with the issue, the answer was more akin to "babies come from the cabbage patch." If the movie did not want to deal with sensitive issues, it should not have brought them up in the first place.

After forcing myself to watch this movie for an hour or more in the hope that it would really take off and make a statement, it devolved into legal bickering between Abbie and Robert with all sorts of uninteresting confusion thrown in by Ben and an old boyfriend of Abbie's. Instead of a grand statement regarding homosexuals as parents, the movie became just another couple bickering over child custody and I became extremely disappointed with the plot development.

Even in the final moments of the movie, the opportunity to do more than have a trite and cliche ending was passed by. There is little more I can say about the ending.

The movie is not a total loss. Benjamin Bratt and Malcolm Stumpf have good chemistry during their interactions with others in the movie. Had Benjamin and Malcolm been absent, this movie would have been a total loss. As it is, I rate this movie three stars largely on the performance of these two actors and what they brought to the movie.

Average customer rating:

Poor Madonna
Watchable,
This Madonna Movie Had Potential but...
Take a deep breath, relax - and enjoy!
Patronising

The Next Best Thing [Region 2]
Starring: Madonna , Rupert Everett , Benjamin Bratt , Illeana Douglas , and Michael Vartan
Director: John Schlesinger
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

( N ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B00005AMRC

Amazon.com

Customer Reviews:

Poor Madonna.......2007-04-25

Watchable, .......2007-02-14

This Madonna Movie Had Potential but..........2005-12-31

Take a deep breath, relax - and enjoy!.......2005-12-07

Patronising.......2005-05-22

Average customer rating:

Hard to Empathize with the Characters (Region 2 DVD)

The Next Best Thing [Region 2]
Starring: Madonna , Rupert Everett , Benjamin Bratt , Illeana Douglas , and Michael Vartan
Director: John Schlesinger
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

DTS | Fully Loaded DVDs | Features | DVD | Video

( N ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

Customer Reviews:

Hard to Empathize with the Characters (Region 2 DVD).......2006-08-31

Average customer rating:

The Next Best Thing
Starring: Madonna , Rupert Everett , Benjamin Bratt , Illeana Douglas , and Michael Vartan
Director: John Schlesinger
Manufacturer: Paramount
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

( N ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
ASIN: B000055XOW
Release Date: 2000-08-29

Charlie Rose with John Schlesinger & Rupert Everett; Charlize Theron (March 2, 2000)

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Charlie Rose with John Schlesinger & Rupert Everett; Charlize Theron (March 2, 2000)

Manufacturer: Charlie Rose
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

( C ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

Description

First a conversation with John Schlesinger and Rupert Everett, the director and the star of the new film, The Next Best Thing, which explores what happens when a gay man and a straight woman decide to raise a child together. Later, actress Charlize Theron on her career, the new John Frankenheimer film, Reindeer Games, in which she co-stars with Ben Affleck, and the success of her last film, The Cider House Rules.

DVD:

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