Mystery Science Theater 3000

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If Coleman Francis had never existed, he would have been invented by the writers of MST3K just for the perverse enjoyment of ridiculing him. Here the director of the jaw-droppingly inept The Beast of Yucca Flats tries his hand at a jailbreak film, which takes a surreal veer into an American invasion of Cuba apparently hampered by military budget cuts ("Once all seven of them are in place, the invasion really begins") before ending up in an American tungsten mine. Why? Who knows, but the bots have a ball skewering the film with some of their funniest comments ("I want to hurt this movie but I can never hurt it the way it hurt me") and Mike Nelson becomes so disturbed he turns into Carol Channing. Believe it or not, costar John Carradine rasps out the theme song "Night Train to Mundo Fine" (which was the film's original title). --Sean Axmaker

Customer Reviews:

A Guilty Pleasure.......2007-07-05

This is one of those movies you kind of feel bad about laughing at, but you just can't help it. Its so unintentionally funny! I love it! I can laugh at the voice of the guy saying, "Water, thirsty, sick man," for hours and hours! And the viciously botched editing transitions that are patented Coleman Francis are just so memorable that I cherish them.

In what other movie can you develop a deep admiration for a guy named Cherokee Jack simply because of how goofy his voice sounds when he woodenly says his name? Red Zone Cuba is a MST3K episode that has a kind of inexplicable magic that produces this kind of illogically emotional response. You end up loving things you shouldn't love, just because they're so bland. Like Coleman's dirt in the drainpipe story.

I don't know what makes Coleman's movies different from other awful and completely unlovable bland movies like Screaming Skull, but something about it is different. Instead of causing pain like Stranded in Space, the awful qualities of this film bring sheer delight. Too bad every terrible movie can't do this.

Just shoot me!.......2007-05-01

Do you remember how TV stations used to flash up a picture of a baby entangled in 16mm film, when the station was having "technical difficulties"? Well, I think that the remnants of that mess were spliced together and given the title "Red Zone Cuba."

The giddy three, in their seats of scoffers, never had it so easy as with this absurd compilation of disjointed shlock! I still crack up at the comment "hmmm, these close-up shots must have saved them a lot of money on sets!" And, "I don't know much about executions, but wouldn't it be better if they shot more than one prisoner at a time?" And late in the "movie" (cough!! gag!!), they ask each other which of the movie's open issues still need to be resolved. Yeah right! Go ahead and get more popcorn -- you won't miss a thing!

Please fasten your safetybelt, because you will lurch from location to location with absolutely no warning. Fear not that the plot will confuse you, because there is no plot. There are no good guys, just bad camera angles. And please please do not rewind to try to hear what one of the characters just muttered. If you do that, you will only prolong your agony.

And in answer to Crow's repeated question of "Are we still in Cuba?" No! We never were!

Words Fail Me.......2006-07-28

This was my first MST3K purchase but it WON'T be my last! As far as cheezy movies go "Red Zone Cuba" was pure limburger. And I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard! Somebody must have held John Carradines entire family held at GUN POINT to make him do this. "I'm Cherokee Jack!" I'm expecting some hardened bush pilot and this is what chirps out of his mouth. And why would you even GET on a plane when the pilot advertises 'We FLIE anywhere" Or maybe they flew NOwhere since the scenery never changed. The editing must have been done by a schizophrenic with ADD, and I never DID find the plot! As for the guy they threw down the well (does anyone know why?) cadaverous as he was,I thought he was dead when they walked into the place. They take his car, drive,-the scenery never changed-dump it, hop a train-the scenery still hadn't changed when they got off the train. When they reach their destination the scenery STILL hasn't changed, and I'm wondering how the guy with the supposedly gangrenous leg got home since they left him to be executed.

Black and White Was One Color Too Many.......2006-05-13

Coleman Francis also appeared in Beyond the Valley of the Dolls, which as co-written by Roger Ebert and Russ Meyer. Nuff said.

"I Had to Finish Smoking Before I Could Laugh".......2004-11-04

If you have never seen Mystery Science Theater 3000 this is the one to start with. Everything just clicks in this episode. The wonderfully bad Coleman Francis film makes perfect fodder for Mike and the bots. From the opening tones of the John Carradine sung theme, to the last Beast-of-Yucca-Flats-like helicopter rundown at the end, Red Zone Cuba is a riot. When Mike and the bots start making Curly of the 3 Stooges references at Coleman, through the inept guerilla training sequences, to the invasion of Cuba.....this is just one of the funniest episodes of the show. I know some folks get caught up in the Joel vs. Mike, or Comedy Central vs. Sci-Fi thing....who cares? This one-of-a-kind show is sorely missed in today's reality TV/King of Queens/According to Jim world, and no matter which episode you pop in you are guaranteed a good laugh with MST3K. Red Zone Cuba, for me just tops the list.

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