Treasure Island

Amazon.com

Strap on your pantaloons and prepare to travel with Jim Hawkins and Blind Pew to one of the most famous fictional islands in history. Walt Disney's 1950 adaptation of Robert Louis Stevenson's swashbuckling masterpiece has held up extremely well, with action and characterizations that feel freshly minted (although it's unlikely that the Mouse of today would sanction the high level of booze flowing throughout the picture). Great fun, with nary a wasted frame and, in the character of Robert Newton's much-imitated Long John, one of cinema's most boisterously crowd-pleasing villains ever. (Proving that you can't keep a good--er, bad man down, Newton would return with director Byron Haskins for the enjoyable sequel, Long John Silver.) Watching this classic is like having a flashback to some perfect Technicolor childhood. --Andrew Wright

Description

Ahoy, mateys! Come aboard the good ship Hispaniola and set sail in search of buried treasure in one of Disney's most critically acclaimed adventure classics -- presented in its original, uncut theatrical version! In his first all-live-action feature, Walt Disney has vividly brought to life Robert Louis Stevenson's timeless tale of buccaneers and buried gold. Authentic locales, rich color photography, and musket-roaring action set the stage for the stouthearted heroics of young Jim Hawkins (Bobby Driscoll) -- and the skullduggery of that wily, one-legged pirate of all pirates, Long John Silver. Aye, for the kind of excitement that only treasure and treachery can bring, there's no better destination than TREASURE ISLAND!

Customer Reviews:

Treasure Island.......2007-09-07

This summer I read Treasure Island to my six-year old grandson. The Treasure at the end of the book was this movie. This was the first book with no pictures he had ever read (listened). The book and the movie paralell closely. Much of the dialogue was Stevenson's prose from the book. The combination was fun for both young and old.

Lots of fun.......2007-07-20

I saw both this version and the classic Wallace Berry, Jackie Cooper version of Treasure island as a child in the 1950's. I have seen and owned copies of the Berry/Cooper version over the years and had thought that this would probably be a sanitized Disney remake. After hearing several reviewers praise this version, I purchased a copy from Amazon. What a joy. My wife, 22 year old son and his wife sat down with cokes and popcorn and were more pleased than we had any right to be. Wallace Berry is one of my favorite actors from silent and early talkie films and nobody plays Wallace Berry better than Wallace Berry. However, Robert Newton has to be the definitive Long John Silver while Bobby Driscoll makes a terrific Jim Hawkins. The rest of the cast while not as distinguished as in the earlier version were excellent in each of their roles. Wish Disney had not taken the liberty with the ending, but other than that, very true to Stevenson's book. Picture and sound quality were excellent. Highly recommended.

satisfactory, but disappointed.......2007-07-06

The movie/disc itself was fine. But the case was damaged and won't stay closed. Not what I expected when paying for a "new" movie.

Treasure Island.......2007-06-27

Byron Haskin's definitive film version of Stevenson's salty tale stands out for Newton's glorious, scenery chewing performance as Long John, the most charming and devious cut-throat sailing the seven seas, and Driscoll also holds his own as Jim. The Disney studio spared no expense in bringing "Treasure" to the screen again (it was previously filmed in 1934), as both production design and color photography are first-rate. To would-be pirates of all ages, all aboard for this flavorful, exciting adventure.

Classic.......2007-06-27

Classic Disney import from England with excellent actors. A Treasure for everyone of every age.

Average customer rating:

One and only one reason
A Good Action Adventure Film
Good
Jessica Alba looking good in Blu-Ray!
Underwater Thriller

Into the Blue [Blu-Ray]
Starring: Josh Brolin , Scott Caan , James Frain , Dwayne Adway , and Paul Walker
Director: John Stockwell
Manufacturer: Sony Pictures
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: Blu-ray

Action & Adventure | Blu-ray | Formats | DVD | Video

General | Blu-ray | Formats | DVD | Video

Mystery & Suspense | Blu-ray | Formats | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B000FJGWBC
Release Date: 2006-08-15

Customer Reviews:

One and only one reason.......2007-06-16

There is mainly one reason to buy this movie, the action is so/so, the plot is grossly contrived, but the saving grace for this film is in the underwater camera work. By that I am referring exclusively to the way the cameraman follows Jessica Alba around from behind underwater as she swims. There is no nudity, there needs to be no nudity, this is simply a film about the hottest woman in known existences butt. Its super high def Jessica Alba, you'll be on the slow mo button half the film anyway so I doubt you'll notice an actual story.

A Good Action Adventure Film.......2007-03-10

I enjoyed this alluring film.I found it to be very interesting and thoroughly engrossing. The cast (Paul Walker, Josh Brolin and Scott Caan) was refreshing. The score composed by Paul Haslinger was very effective. Shades of Peter Benchley's THE DEEP seem to glitter in the waters here.

Good.......2007-02-28

I liked this movie. I am a Jessica Alba fan and mainly got it for that reason. The movie is kind of flaky in the sense that the storyline is not original nor is it necessarily a great story. It did have enough action and Jessica Alba to make it a good movie though. I would watch it again, though its not going to make my top 50 movies. Worth it for a bargain price.

Jessica Alba looking good in Blu-Ray!.......2006-12-14

Story Synopsis:
If you are a clothing minimalist, Into The Blue is for you. With the azure skies and crystal waters of the Bahamas their backyard, Jared (Walker) and his girlfriend, Sam (Alba), enjoy a peaceful existence...and incredible tans. But, with the arrival of Sam's childhood friend, Bryce (Caan), and his girlfriend Amanda (Scott), and the subsequent discovering of a possible sunken treasure, greed rears its head jeopardizing not only their friendship, but their very lives.

Disc Picture:
The 2.32:1 MPEG-2 Blu-ray Disc picture looks great, overall. There is a purposely oversaturated look to the picture, with blown-out whites and colors.The underwater color schemes seem to really look good as well. The picture quality is outstanding, with beautiful locales, which is improved of course by the presence of Jessica Alba.

Soundtrack:
The linear PCM 5.1-channel soundtrack uses a broad front stage, good surround integration, and well-recorded dialogue to deliver an enjoyable audio experience. Deep bass is not very prevalent, making the soundtrack sound a bit thin.

Underwater Thriller.......2006-11-17

Jared (Paul Walker) works as a scuba teacher but dreams of being a treasure hunter who finds a gold-laden shipwreck. His girlfriend Sam (Jessica Alba) supports him in all that he does and truly loves him. When Jared's brother Bryce (Scott Caan) shows up with a new girlfriend Amanda (Ashley Scott) luck seems to go their way. They have access to a boat and have found a few scattered remnants of a wreck that might be the pirate ship that's supposed to be the mother lode of treasure ships. Unfortunately, a plane with cocaine has crashed into the ocean nearby and complicates the situation when the drug runners come looking for their lost product. Further trouble happens as everyone argue how best to proceed with the search for the treasure ship, and what to do about the cocaine.

John Stockwell directed the movie and does an amazing job of shooting eye-catching imagery that's stunning on the Blu-ray presentation. I found myself getting sidetracked more than once by the seascape captured in the camera lens, and the fact that I noticed it at all while Jessica Alba was swimming around in a bikini is saying a lot. The audio portion of the movie is packaged uncompressed, allowing the film to take full advantage of a surround sound system and throughly wow the audiophile.

Although INTO THE BLUE doesn't go anywhere spectacular for the experienced moviegoer (films like THE DEEP and A SIMPLE PLAN offer similar plot lines and conflict), it does deliver a very watchable story. The added bonus of the incredible underwater imagery and the impeccable sound system is worth getting the movie in Blu-ray if you don't already have it on DVD.

As a thriller, INTO THE BLUE works. And it's a great buddy flick. Not exactly date material, but if you're with someone who likes action and tension, this will fit the bill nicely.

Muppet Treasure Island - Kermit's 50th Anniversary Edition

Average customer rating:

Offers Both WIDESCREEN and FULL SCREEN versions
Mindless Fun
Great for the grandchildren!!
Cabin fever
Three cheers for muppets!

Muppet Treasure Island - Kermit's 50th Anniversary Edition
Starring: Kevin Clash , Tim Curry , Dave Goelz , Harry Jones , and Jerry Nelson
Director: Brian Henson
Manufacturer: Walt Disney Home Entertainment
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Comedy | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

3-6 Years | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

10-12 Years | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

Comedy | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

Family Films | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

All Disney Titles | Walt Disney Studios Home Entertainment | Stores | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $14.99 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( M ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B000ATQYTC
Release Date: 2005-11-29

Amazon.com

Kids love this Muppet take on Robert Louis Stevenson's pirate classic, about the pirate Long John Silver (Tim Curry) and his takeover of a ship in order to track down buried treasure. His friend and then nemesis is earnest cabin boy Jim Hawkins (Kevin Bishop), who teams with the captain of the ship (Kermit the Frog) and several shipmates (including Gonzo, Ratso, and Fozzie) to foil Long John's nefarious plot. An odd subplot finds Captain Kermit stopping at a desert island to find his long-lost love (Miss Piggy--who else?). The Muppets have not lost their wild sense of humor, which works on enough levels to amply entertain children and their parents in imaginative fashion. --Marshall Fine

Description

Ahoy, matey! Get ready for hilarity on the high seas with Kermit the Frog, Miss Piggy, and all the Muppets in this exciting first-ever action-adventure, inspired by Robert Louis Stevenson's classic pirate tale. When young Jim Hawkins inherits a long-lost treasure map, he hires the great ship Hispaniola to seek his fortune. With the good Captain Smollett (Kermit the Frog) at the helm -- and greedy Long John Silver (Tim Curry) at the heart of a dastardly plot -- they set sail for adventure only to discover danger at every turn! Featuring a rollicking score by Academy Award(R) winner Hans Zimmer (1995, Best Original Score, THE LION KING), this fully restored and remastered 50th Anniversary Edition of MUPPET TREASURE ISLAND is a fun-packed, music-filled swashbuckler the entire family will enjoy over and over.~~(c) The Muppets Holding Company, LLC and BVHE. MUPPETS characters and elements are trademarks of The Muppets Holding Company. All Rights Reserved.~ ~~

Customer Reviews:

Offers Both WIDESCREEN and FULL SCREEN versions.......2007-08-17

I adore this movie, and was relieved to find it finally released in widescreen (a full screen version is also included for people who still don't "get it.")

I've watched it several times, and still have "Cabin Fever"!

Mindless Fun.......2007-08-08

If you're looking for an oscar worthy performance, show stopping graphics and thought provoking dialogue...then please look elsewhere. However, if you've had a cruddy day and are looking for something brainless and silly to cheer you up- this is the movie for you. I remember seeing this in theaters as a kid many moons ago and I hid my dog-earred VHS copy from friends for years. But the time has come to proudly proclaim my love for this film! It perhaps lacks the wit of earlier muppet films and I could do without the strange mulleted child they found to play the part of Jim, but this sweet, charming movie always puts a smile on my face.

Great for the grandchildren!!.......2007-07-30

I bought this because my grandsons 2 and 3 are fascinated with pirates but are just to young for the Pirates of the Caribbean series. They had been to Sesame Place in PA early this summer and also loved the Muppets so this was a good substitute. They have had hours of pleasure from this movie.

Cabin fever.......2007-07-03

Hilarious as a kid, and just as funny as an adult, i've loved this since the first time i saw it. Nothing beats Tim Curry as a singing pirate!

Three cheers for muppets!.......2007-06-20

I love watching the video again and again with friends, singing along with the songs and laughing at the same jokes and gags that never get tired!

Average customer rating:

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider [Blu-ray]
On the blu-ray release
disappointing blu-ray release
Lara Croft - We need more
Lara never looked better

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider [Blu-ray]
Starring: Chris Barrie , Daniel Craig , Iain Glen , Angelina Jolie , and Leslie Phillips
Director: Simon West
Manufacturer: Paramount
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: Blu-ray

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Action & Adventure | Blu-ray | Formats | DVD | Video

General | Blu-ray | Formats | DVD | Video

Science Fiction & Fantasy | Blu-ray | Formats | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B000I0QLZU
Release Date: 2006-09-26

Product Description

A member of a rich British aristocratic family, Lara Croft is a "tomb raider" who enjoys collecting ancient artifacts from ruins of temples, cities, etc. worldwide, and doesn't mind going through death-defying dangers to get them. She is skilled in hand-to-hand combat, weapons training, and foreign languages - and does them all in tight outfits. Well, the planets of the solar system are going into planetary alignment (Which occurs every 5,000 years), and a secret society called the Illuminati is seeking an ancient talisman that gives its possessor the ability to control time. However, they need a certain clock/key to help them in their search, and they have to find the talisman in one week or wait until the next planetary alignment to find it again. Lara happens to find that key hidden in a wall of her mansion. The Illuminati steal it, and Lara gets an old letter from her deceased father telling her about the society's agenda (Her father was also the one who hid the key). Now, she must retrieve the key and find and destroy the talisman before the Illuminati can get their hands on it.

Format: BLU-RAY DISC

Customer Reviews:

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider [Blu-ray].......2007-07-17

The Blu-ray is disappointed. The sound is 1.5 Mbps instead of 4.6 Mbps because of the bonus in it. The picture isn't so perfect as I expected because there's less color than other movies in Blu-ray and the definition is no so good. However, le main menu is great and the trailers in HD !!

On the blu-ray release.......2007-04-26

When the Lara Croft video game was released it was so ahead of its time, it influenced and changed the video game industry.
It would have been nice if the Lara Croft series could continue its revelutionary approach by producing a crystal clear version of this 7 year old movie. But seeing the way how they prepared the title for HD, its apparent that the producers dont have big expectancies from this old lady.
The movie is very much grainy, there are even scratches and glares. I am not impressed with the audio as well.
The HD version has absolutely Zero upgrade value.
There are many extras but as i dont have the DVD im not sure if they are special for this version or not.

disappointing blu-ray release.......2007-03-23

this is my 10th blu-ray movie, and it is one of the worst one I have seen, there is grain everywhere and colors are so saturated it made the picture look flat and plain. Definitely not for showing off your HD equipment.

Lara Croft - We need more.......2007-03-09

Great female action movie. We need more like this. It holds your interest.

Lara never looked better.......2007-01-30

When i played this for the first time on my blu-ray player i was instantly able to see the difference in quality. The image was crisp and felt as though i was seeing it back in the theaters again.

Average customer rating:

McKenna's Gold
Round up at central casting or How to end your career with Lurch.
A western that could only be made in the 60's
I know this place. It's Shaking Rock..no gold around there
Great Western

MacKenna's Gold
Starring: Gregory Peck , Omar Sharif , Telly Savalas , Camilla Sparv , and Keenan Wynn
Director: J. Lee Thompson
Manufacturer: Sony Pictures
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

Suspense | Mystery & Suspense | Genres | DVD | Video

Mystery | Mystery & Suspense | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Mystery & Suspense | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Westerns | Genres | DVD | Video

Action & Adventure | Westerns | Genres | DVD | Video

4-for-3 All DVDs | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

Westerns | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $7.49 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( M ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B00004TJJU
Release Date: 2000-07-11

Amazon.com

Attempting to do for Westerns what his Guns of Navarone had done for World War II action epics, director J. Lee Thompson crafted Mackenna's Gold as a lavish, absurdly ambitious variation on Erich Von Stroheim's Greed, resulting in a last-gasp Western so eager to encompass the genre's traditions that it turns into a big, silly, wildly entertaining mess. Gregory Peck surely had more serious intentions when he signed on, and he brings prestigious gravitas to his glum role as Marshall Mackenna, who gets shanghaied into searching for the gold-filled canyon of an elusive Apache legend. The rest of the 1969 film labors to undermine Peck's respectable demeanor; how else to explain Omar Sharif as a Mexican villain, Julie Newmar as a hot-blooded Apache temptress (with underwater nude scenes that were celebrated in Playboy magazine), and a jaw-dropping finale that's so ridiculous it's impressive in spite of itself?

Formerly blacklisted screenwriter Carl Foreman and composer Dimitri Tiomkin joined up to coproduce the film, and one can only imagine how Anthony Mann or Howard Hawks might've handled Foreman's sensible script. Thompson goes for scenic splendor, heavy action, and heavier emotions, casting everything at a fever pitch that's wildly enjoyable without betraying his "serious" intentions. A stable of Hollywood veterans (Eli Wallach, Raymond Massey, Edward G. Robinson, and others) appear in lively supporting roles--they're all dispatched in a garish Apache ambush--and Camilla Sparv is an ingénue with plenty of fighting attitude. Gold fever reaches its peak, along with some awesome special effects, and divine intervention reaches new heights of intensity. Top it off with José Feliciano's theme song, and you'll be in zany Western heaven. --Jeff Shannon

Customer Reviews:

McKenna's Gold.......2007-08-22

As a long time loyal fan of Gregory Peck, this movie does not stand up to his others. The acting is sluggish, the plot predictable, the ending is
sadly "corny". Peck does the best of all the actors and actresses. Camilla Sparv gives a very lukewarm performance. This is definately NOT a family film.
Peck fans will find "Big Country" as real Western Classic, with all the wonderful music, scenery and excellent story western fans look for.

Round up at central casting or How to end your career with Lurch........2007-07-16

This was harder to take than spam on hardtack, scarier than Omen, a sand duster beyond belief. No wonder Eastwood rode off with spaghetti westerns by himself. This crew was trapped in a blind canyon trying to avoid every John Wayne cliche and remain serious. Forget it. Even Frank, Sammy and Dean couldn't save this one. The apaches snuck up at the 4th campfire meeting,and made off with the real script.When the likes of Raymond Massey, Lee J. Cobb and Edward G. Robinson ask to be killed off before they reach Montana and the director agrees, there's no reason to continue. The best thing about this yarn of no similarity to the legend of "Adams Diggings," is the gorgeous rocky landscape. But still J. Lee Thompson insists on adding "Garden of Evil" matte shots here and there that add seconds of excitement to its crawling pace.Then Eli Wallach shows up and you hope he ropes you out of the audience or executes you along with the senior citizens of central casting.Not to happen. There's no escaping the depressing Sodom and Gamorrah finale that hopes to bury any memory of watching this. From the outset of this mess, every time the diminutive Omar Sharif looks up to the towering Gregory Peck and threatens him with desert eyes and Cisco Kid ridiculousness,it portends disaster ahead. You best skip this and just google the real "Adams Diggings." If you believe apache gold is found like cheese slices on a canyon wall, then you might like this before seeing your army recruiter.

A western that could only be made in the 60's.......2007-07-16

Psychedelic camerawork, panoramic vistas, a Quincy Jones avant garde western score, Atticus Finch himself, Gregory Peck, Dr. Zhivago-Omar Sharif passing himself off as a Mexican bandito, Lurch-Ted Cassidy as an Indian, a pre-Kojak Telly Savalas, and "My Living Doll/Catwoman" Julie Newmar make for one of the strangely cast westerns of all time. Add to that the inspired casting of some of the best character actors to ever grace the silver screen (Eli Wallach, Burgess Meredith, Edward G. Robinson, Anthony Gayle, Raymond Massey, Keenan Wynn, Lee J. Cobb, to cite a few, and you have one GROOVY western...long on credits, short on plot, but still worth a look!

I know this place. It's Shaking Rock..no gold around there.......2007-06-28

Gregory Peck and some of the biggest names in the movie industry saddle up in search of the 'Lost Adams' or 'Canyon del Oro' mine. This is one action packed western. Jose Feliciano's `Old Turkey Buzzard' plays background score to scenic desert cinematography as everyone rides off in search of gold. Just keep in mind that the film was shot in 1969 and so to my knowledge has no CGI's (Computer-generated imagery). There are some modeling and interesting editing in some of the action shots (crossing the bridge sequence, etc). Look past this and enjoy the adventure as gold fever strikes everyone in this very entertaining movie. Wonderful panoramic visual treats combined with a great story make this a must for action and western lovers. Well worth the ride to Shaking Rock.

Great Western.......2007-06-27

MacKenna's Gold is a great old color western about a hunt for a canyon of treasure. Well known actors and a great story that holds your attention.

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (Special Collector's Edition)

Average customer rating:

an action film that works
Tomb Raider - HD
A collector's Must Have
Lara Croft - Tomb Raider
Visually stunning!

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider (Special Collector's Edition)
Starring: Chris Barrie , Daniel Craig , Iain Glen , Angelina Jolie , and Leslie Phillips
Director: Simon West
Manufacturer: Paramount
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

4-for-3 Action & Adventure | 4-for-3 DVD | Stores | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $7.49 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

All Deals | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( L ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

Special Editions | Fully Loaded DVDs | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B00003CXZ1
Release Date: 2001-11-13

Amazon.com

Like the video game series it's based on, Tomb Raider is best enjoyed for its physical strategies, since even casual scrutiny of story details will induce a headache. It's more concerned with puzzles than plot, populated with characters that don't have personalities so much as attitudes. It's silly and somber at the same time, but as a franchise vehicle for Angelina Jolie in the title role of relic hunter Lara Croft, this is packaged entertainment at its most agreeable, ambitious in scope and scale, and filled with the kind of globetrotting adventure that could make Jolie the best thing that's happened to action movies since Indiana Jones. Could being the operative word here, because Tomb Raider can't match any of Steven Spielberg's celebrated joyrides, but the ingredients are there for an exquisitely cinematic meal.

Perhaps to distance himself from Lara Croft's video game origins, director Simon West takes things a bit too seriously; Tomb Raider handles its plot (involving a planetary alignment, the nefarious Illuminati, and coveted relics that hold the key to controlling the flow of time) with all the gravity of a championship chess match... minus the tension. If the movie had lightened up and been truly suspenseful (instead of being suffused with been-there, done-that familiarity), it would have been an instant popcorn classic. As it is, however, this is an elegantly mounted adventure featuring exotic locations (in Cambodia and Iceland) and an exotic star born for her role. Even without her padded bra, Jolie would be the living embodiment of Lara Croft, and that's enough to bode well for inevitable sequels. --Jeff Shannon

Customer Reviews:

an action film that works.......2007-07-23

While I'm certainly not a fan of the Tomb Raider video games (because they're horribly designed and endlessly frustrating) I couldn't believe my sees at the sight of a really good Tomb Raider action movie. Sure, some of the lines were pretty silly and cheesy, and the action scenes were pretty predictable because you KNEW Lara would always escape danger is highly unbelievable ways. It doesn't matter though, because I was thoroughly impressed with the quality of this film. Good watch.

Tomb Raider - HD.......2007-05-10

Video transfer quality is great. Dolby Digital Plus 5.1 soundtrack is very clean - I haven't listened to the DTS soundtrack, but it includes one. Special features are PLENTY, among which are both a trailer and a teaser trailer in HD.

If you enjoy this movie, I would say you get a great value for the money with the quality and all the features. If you've never seen this movie before, and you feel the same way as I do about some of the other movies I've reviewed here on Amazon, then you may feel the same way as I do about "Tomb Raider" as well.

My first impression - having all the bells and whistles of a great surround system - leads me to conclude that it's plenty "Tomb" but not quite "Raider".

The story is decent as far as "adventures" go, perhaps more on the unconvincing side, but the action seemed small to me: gunfire petite...explosions dainty...somewhat corny...Lara evades a gunman's barrage of bullets in the main lobby of her mansion like a schoolyard tetherball going around its pole, and I couldn't help but be reminded of writings I remember from the U.S.S. Alabama - "Lead Dammit, Lead!"

"Tomb Raider" may be more of (but not necessarily) a "chick flic" adventure (pardon the reference) strongly cashing in on the "daddy's little girl" theme, which could easily alienate some. However, do not assume me biased about a female lead: I found "Aeon Flux" to be an outstanding film - it too has a female lead.

It turns out I honestly just didn't like this movie. If you're a fan of the "Tomb Raider" videogame, or of Angelina Jolie, or of archeological adventures or of the aforementioned thematic structure, you might get a kick out of this film. If you're particular about your collection, you may want to be cautious about this one - but in its defense, it's all a matter of taste.

I neither recommend nor condemn this film - I just didn't like it.

A collector's Must Have.......2007-05-07

Jolie as an action figure just sits right. I am glad I have it to watch whenever.

Lara Croft - Tomb Raider.......2007-05-07

Love it came in great condition!and it shows GREAT!!

Visually stunning!.......2007-04-09

And the sets and scenery are nice too. Face it, the reason we're here to talk about this movie, is because of the star. It's all about Angelina Jolie, but unfortunately this film is rated PG-13, so you just don't get as much of her as you would like.

The main character, Lara Croft (Jolie) is the uber-sexy combination of the all the archeological nerdiness of Indiana Jones, the swashbuckling adventure of Robin Hood, the firepower of Rambo, the gadgetry of James Bond and the sexiness of, well, Angelina Jolie. Her humble abode, Croft Manor is meant to evoke some sort of combination of classic European aristocracy and 22nd Century technical marvel. Some weird combination of Palace of Versailles crossed with the Bat Cave and the deck of the Starship Enterprise. Why can't we all be born into this lifestyle? In fact I guess it really is a lot like Bruce Wayne's place.

The opening scene is a fantastic fight sequence between a barely clad Croft and some robot thingy we don't care about. It nearly kills her, but she comes through and destroys it and we all learn it's just some cheese ball training session, and a good excuse for her to wear a nice tight top and some revealing shorts. This is followed by a completely meaningless scene that serves no purpose what so ever , Croft in a shower. If they would have been brave enough to shoot for an R rating, or even an NC-17, it could have been the greatest scene in the history of filmmaking. As it is, just a naked wet Jolie throwing her hair about and posing as the water falls on her body. It really is quite magnificent, and yet somewhat disappointing.

The story revolves around some global organization bent on taking over the world, and their plans revolve around the planets aligning and some magic key they need to find to control time. Along the way we learn that Croft has daddy issues (Jon Voight, her real life father) since he's been missing for so long. And she is the uber-cool totally against the grain rebel that upsets any and all uptight class elitists she runs into along the way, even though she`s a rich snob herself. She has a geeky brainiac side kick/helper named Bryce (Noah Talyor) who is pretty funny actually, a nice little smart alec, and an opposing archeologist working for the bad guys named Alex (Craig, Daniel Craig).

The movie looks pretty, which is its main goal. There is some sort of story, plenty of action, a bit of intrigue and the constant presence and pleasure of Croft's breasts, which appear to be the main feature of this story, since the camera rarely leaves them and her outfits always ensure their prominent display. Also, there are enough references to the Illuminati (the bad guys here, bent on world domination, and definitely not wiling to wait another 5000 years for the planetary alignment before they can take over) and the all seeing eye on the pyramid to make a Da Vinci code buff have some sort of nerd-gasm trying to compare/contrast how those two symbols are used in the different films.

The movie is really just a whacky wild adventure in the pursuit of two halves of a magic mystery triangle so powerful that the evil Mecha-Streisand can be destroyed once and for all! Ok, that's not really what the triangle does, it gives the user the ability to manipulate time, which the bad guys will use to take over the world. As if they're not already in control of everything. Of course Lara prevents them from getting the triangle, actually gets control of it herself and does nothing spectacular with it before destroying it.

The parallels between Tomb Raider and Raiders of the Lost Ark are almost uncanny. A swashbuckling hero Croft/Indy is out to save the world by finding the triangle/ark before the bad guys Illuminati/Nazis are able to do so with their own archeologist Alex West/Renee Belloq.

With that, it's a visually stunning film, with the scenery and locals, the special effects, and of course the lead actress. It's entertaining, and worth the money. Pick it up. Enjoy it. You won't remember anything about it a week after seeing it. It's a good fun movie, that is completely forgettable.

As for the special features on this Widescreen Special Collectors Edition:

Digging Into Tomb Raider
Crafting Lara Croft
The Stunts of Tomb Raider
Visual Effects of Tomb Raider
Are you Game?
Commentary by Director Simon West
4 Deleted Scenes
Alternate Main Title Sequences
U2 Music Video, "Elevation" Tomb Raider Mix
DVD-ROM Features
Tomb Raider Timeline
Tomb Raider Chronicles Game

Some pretty cool stuff, worth checking out.

Average customer rating:

King Solomon's Mines
Original movie
Cinema for a Hot Summer Night!
King Solomon's Mines
Nice movie...

King Solomon's Mines
Starring: Deborah Kerr , Stewart Granger , Richard Carlson , Hugo Haas , and Lowell Gilmore
Director: Andrew Marton , and Compton Bennett
Manufacturer: Warner Home Video
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Classics | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Romantic Adventure | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Drama | Genres | DVD | Video

Adventure | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

Drama | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $9.99 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( K ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B0006B2A7E
Release Date: 2005-01-11

Amazon.com

Adventure yarns don't come more ripping than King Solomon's Mines, the classic Great White Hunter tale. Novelist H. Rider Haggard's hero, Allan Quatermain (Stewart Granger), reluctantly agrees to lead an Englishwoman (Deborah Kerr) and her brother (Richard Carlson) deep into uncharted territory in Africa, in search of the lady's lost husband. What follows is a cavalcade of boys' adventure stuff: charging rhinos, cannibals, an incredible wildlife stampede, and the back-of-the-neck-tingly thrill of venturing into unmapped lands. The location shooting, including tribal rituals, is marvelous throughout, and the movie manages to pack a great deal of material into 102 minutes without ever seeming rushed. A remake of a 1937 film, King Solomon's Mines was itself remade badly, with Richard Chamberlain, in 1985, and Quatermain was essayed by Sean Connery in League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, but purists will prefer Stewart Granger's stalwart-yet-sardonic hero--his career never quite got over the role. --Robert Horton

Customer Reviews:

King Solomon's Mines.......2007-08-24

This version of the classic story by H. Rider Haggard has always been my favorite. Stewart Granger WAS Allan Quatermain and filming in Africa extended the illusion that this was more 'authentic' then the other versions filmed. Still a fun film to watch

Original movie.......2007-07-17

Entirely filmed in Africa, this genial movie impresses not only with the acting, but also the fabulous shots of the wildlife. Because of the age of the movie, it is so very impressing so see close shots of elephants, lions, zebras, monkeys ect. You can really see the hardships of the actors who - as their roles - had to endure bugs, heat and so on. Really a very original and most interesting film. Will appeal to nature lovers, people who like adventuremovies, and people who are interested ind historical movies.

Cinema for a Hot Summer Night!.......2007-07-05

Despite the perfectly silly, not to mention offensive, trailer (which certainly would not fly today), "King Solomon's Mines" remains an excellent adventure film that ought to be digitally remastered (with original scenes restored), so we could see the splendid tribal dances and the magnificent footage of animals in the wild in the film's pristine color. I first saw this film on the big screen as a kid, and it spurred me on to read all the Allan Quatermaine adventure novels. The movie, which necessarily omits various characters and episodes, did not spoil my reading experience one whit. In fact, it allowed me to picture those incredibly beautiful landscapes of Kenya, Tanganyika (as it was then called), and the Congo as I read on to the end.

That said, I must now comment on some flaws. One can be attributed, perhaps, to loss of some of the footage: The Watusi dance was not only twice as long, but it was also the high point of the film. The lack of the original dance footage makes the ending seem abrupt. The other, in hindsight, can certainly be attributed to lack of judgment on the part of the Big Studio Moguls, for whom Big Names as well as Bucks meant more than continuity in casting and production values. These imperfections bothered me then, and they bother me now. The first point is a minor but nevertheless evident one: Richard Carlson's American accent. It is hard to believe that he is the brother of Deborah Kerr, whose English diction is so pure. Furthermore, Stewart Grainger's genuine English does not help make Carlson's character any more believable. The next point probably bothers no one but a persnickety purist such as myself, but when Deborah Kerr finally shears off her long Victorian locks, they are transformed into an elegant 1950s Audrey Hepburn-Roman-Holiday-like perm that remains bouncy no matter how humid the jungle, how dry the desert! Even though the directors do give verisimilitude a nod when she gets dunked into the underground stream, the "girl with the fire hair," as the film-trailer blared, emerges with every red-gold ringlet in tact (I wish I knew her secret----or her hairdresser!).

This film, which is recommended for the entire family, deserves to be re-issued in a remastered version. The movie contains none of the inappropriate nonsense of the trailer. In the meantime, following Stewart Granger, Deborah Kerr----okay, even Richard Carlson!---vicariously on an 1897 Safari through the lush rainforests, the golden savannahs, the silver deserts and green hills of a good portion of Africa is an excellent way to spend a summer evening.

King Solomon's Mines.......2007-06-26

Shot on location in Africa, and featuring the winning team of Granger and Kerr, "Mines" is is a handsome, pounding adventure film with plenty of thrills and romance. Thanks to spectacular camerawork by Oscar winner Robert Surtees, the movie is indispensable purely on a visual level, but Granger and Kerr emit powerful screen chemistry too, which makes the epic journey- including snakes, spiders, lions, rhinos, and assorted African tribes-that much more exhilarating.

Nice movie..........2007-06-08

It is an older movie but still good and clean. Yes, there is an elephant killed in the first scene but it isn't that bad and there were no REAL elephants killed in this movie.

A woman and her brother seek Allan Quartermaine's help in finding her lost husband.

Lara Croft Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life (Special Collector's Edition)

Average customer rating:

One of Jolie's best
Good movie
Action galore with some hot romance along the way
For Lara-fans
Lara Croft Tomb Raider- The Cradle of Life

Lara Croft Tomb Raider - The Cradle of Life (Special Collector's Edition)
Starring: Angelina Jolie , Gerard Butler , Ciarán Hinds , Chris Barrie , and Noah Taylor
Director: Jan de Bont
Manufacturer: Paramount
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $7.49 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( L ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

Special Editions | Fully Loaded DVDs | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B0000CABE5
Release Date: 2003-11-18

Amazon.com

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider, The Cradle of Life is certainly better than its 2001 predecessor, but its appeal is mostly aimed at fans of the video games that inspired both movies. That pretty much leaves you with some fun but familiar action sequences, and the ever-alluring sight of Angelina Jolie (reprising her title role) as she swims, swings, kicks, shoots, flies, jet-skis, motorcycles, and free-falls her way toward saving the world, this time by making sure that a grimacing villain (Ciarán Hinds) doesn't open Pandora's Box (yes, the actual mythological object) and unleash a deadly plague that will "weed out" the global population. Exotic locations add to Jolie's own coolly erotic appeal, but we're left wondering if this franchise has anywhere else to go. --Jeff Shannon

Description

In LARA CROFT TOMB RAIDER -THE CRADLE OF LIFE, Pandora's Box is said to house the most unspeakable evil ever known, and it is hidden in Africa in an area known as "The Cradle Of Life." Now, it is up to Lara Croft to find the infamous box before it falls into the hands of a maniacal Nobel Prize-winning scientist (Hinds), who's intent on harnessing the evil power. Facing her greatest challenges yet, the intrepid tomb raider travels the world on a spectacular adventure that takes her to such exotic places as Hong Kong, Kenya, Tanzania, Greece and the Great Wall of China.

Customer Reviews:

One of Jolie's best.......2007-05-07

Loved this film when it first came out and still like to keep in my collection.

Good movie.......2007-05-07

I really like this movie, even more that the first one. It has a lot of action. And the DVD features are pretty good.

Action galore with some hot romance along the way.......2007-04-06

Croft is out for adventure and action again and Jolie fills the bill
very well. The stunts and special effects are good especially the flight
off the tallest building in HongKong. This time Lara has company in a
virile and sexy scottish actor named Gerard Butler. He gives her plenty
of competition in their action shots and some very sultry scenes in the
romance department. I thought the ending was a cope out and thought the
alternate ending made more sense.

For Lara-fans.......2007-01-28

This may not be intellectually challenging, but features enough exotic scenery and special effects to hold the viewer's attention for at least a couple of viewings.

Great entertainment for kids, while the dads will enjoy the sight of Angelina Jolie in her bikini. Features less action than the first Lara Croft movie, but makes up for this with clever effects, and by switching between numerous spectacular locations.

Jolie may not be the world's greatest actress, but continues to be the ideal choice for what is essentially a female Indiana Jones. If you enjoyed the first, then this is a must-see.

Lara Croft Tomb Raider- The Cradle of Life.......2007-01-09

I'm not a big fan of Angelina Jolie, but I do like this movie. Of course Gerard Butler is wonderful to watch in this movie and they work well together.

Average customer rating:

Put Your Brain On Hold & Enjoy The Stylish, Wild Ride
The Rock is the Man
Running down the Rock
Enjoyable Movie for Action fans who like comedy.
Great movie, Action, comedy, and Christopher Walken, 90 minutes of fun

The Rundown (Widescreen Edition)
Starring: The Rock , Seann William Scott , Rosario Dawson , Christopher Walken , and Ewen Bremner
Director: Peter Berg
Manufacturer: Universal Studios
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

General | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Comic Action | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

Jungle Action | Action & Adventure | Genres | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $7.49 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video

( R ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B00016MSV2
Release Date: 2004-03-23

Amazon.com

Professional wrestling star the Rock, who was such a lump of flesh in The Scorpion King, proves surprisingly light on his feet in The Rundown, demonstrating charm and humor as well as the requisite toughness. Beck (the Rock), a repo-man for deadbeats, is sent to South America to find a treasure hunter (Seann William Scott) who's seeking a priceless golden idol--which the local head honcho (Christopher Walken) would like to get his hands on as well. Add in the lovely but dangerous barmaid with a secret (Rosario Dawson), and Beck has some obstacles to overcome. The plot of The Rundown isn't anything special, but the script is enjoyably clever and reasonably coherent; the capable cast keeps things lively; and the movie's relaxed but sinewy pace sets it apart from the frantic floundering of recent action flicks--kudos to director Peter Berg (Very Bad Things). A surprisingly fun flick. --Bret Fetzer

Customer Reviews:

Put Your Brain On Hold & Enjoy The Stylish, Wild Ride.......2007-09-13

Yup, this is way hokey and one of the dumbest movies I own in my collection, yet it's very likable and mostly a fun film with great style and scenery.

An adventure story, played strictly for entertainment value, it mostly succeeds because Dwayne Johnson, better known as "The Rock," is a very likable hero. He's clean-cut, well-spoken, modest, etc. Supposedly this film was supposed to be The Rock grabbing the action mantle, so to speak, from the king - Arnold Schwarzenegger - who will no longer make movies. They even have Arnie make a quick cameo, wishing The Rock good luck! That was a good touch.

I didn't realize until the second time I watched it (which is where I stand now) just how stylishly this was filmed. This movie reminded me of many made by either Robert Rodriguez or Quentin Taranatino with the gimmick photography. It makes it all the more fun to watch. Add some excellent sound, tremendous Hawaiian scenery simulated to look the the Amazon jungle in Brazil......and you can put up with the stupidness of the story and have a good time.

The Rock is the Man.......2007-06-27

WWE Films presents The Rundown or should I say WWF.

If you liked the Rock in the squared circle then you will love him in The Rundown. His performance was off the hook along with Sean's. This is a serious but funny movie, especialy when the monkey starts humping the Rocks face.

Running down the Rock.......2007-06-12

I found this to be a surprisingly entertaining movie. Filmed in Hawaii (a stand-in locale that doubles for Brazil), the cinematography is terrific. The ROCK plays a sort of bounty-hunter who is out to bring a kid (Seann William Scott - AKA "Stiffler") back to his father. Along the way, they have run ins with the local who runs the town (Christopher Walken).

The ROCK's movies tend to be entertaining, although I can't see him being the next Arnie. The action / adventure / comedy is his most natural genre. He doesn't quite have the charisma of the slow-talking, talk-with-an-accent Arnie. However, The ROCK can still carve out a niche for himself and make many more movies to come.

As always Seann William Scott is hilarious, although some of the comic elements in this film don't really "work." Christopher Walken was a good choice to be the stoic villain who is bent on enslaving a town of natives.

If you enjoy adventure movies, give this one a spin. It's more comical than most adventure movies. And, most importantly, it's a whole lotta fun to watch!

Enjoyable Movie for Action fans who like comedy........2007-05-01

I bought this originally because both my husband and daughter like The Rock. They think he's the 'bomb'. I'm not much into wrestlers gone actor, but I have to say, I liked this movie. It isn't one of my favourites, but it is a good one. The story itself was well written, the action was decent (I'm a fan of Japanese and Chinese action movies myself) and the tongue in cheek humour made it highly enjoyable. I wouldn't say the Rock is eye candy in this one, far from it, but he's proving to be a good actor all in all. The movie appeals to everyone in my family for different reasons. It's just an all around good time.

Great movie, Action, comedy, and Christopher Walken, 90 minutes of fun.......2007-01-15

The rock in what would be his first major release movie, the rundown is a story of Beck (the Rock) who is a "collection agent" for a gambling ring. Beck just wants out of the business after so many years of fighting to open a restaurant. But, his boss wants him to do one last job, retrieve his son Travis (shawn william scott) from Brazil's jungles and bring him back home to pay for some outstanding debts. So off to brazil, to El dorado, a small town controlled by a ruthless miner, played by Christopher Walken. Beck is a man of honor, and he will bring back Travis, but along the way, things get complicated when a priceless artifiact Travis has located comes into play. I could go on, but just get this movie. Its funny, and it got some good action and fight scenes. 90 minutes of fun, check it out.

Average customer rating:

Great fun, visually beautiful, and a kid's introduction to Mayan culture
Apocalypto, the Musical Comedy
The Other City of Gold
On The Road with the Children
Cartoon Nudity

The Road to El Dorado
Starring: Armand Assante , Tobin Bell , Elton John , Kevin Kline , and Kenneth Branagh
Director: Don Paul , and Bibo Bergeron
Manufacturer: Dreamworks Animated
ProductGroup: DVD
Binding: DVD

Animation | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

7-9 Years | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

10-12 Years | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

Family Films | Kids & Family | Genres | DVD | Video

General | Animation | Genres | DVD | Video

Feature Films | Animation | Genres | DVD | Video

DTS | Fully Loaded DVDs | Features | DVD | Video

( R ) | Titles | Features | DVD | Video

DVDs Under $7.49 | Today's Deals in DVD | Special Features | DVD | Video
Similar Items:

ASIN: B00003CXG7
Release Date: 2000-12-12

Amazon.com

In its third foray into animated features, DreamWorks came up with something unfortunate: the routine animated picture. Plagued with production problems (it was originally conceived as a mold-breaking PG-13 adventure), the likable film is a Hope/Crosby-style road picture about two scalawags who stumble upon the Latin American paradise of El Dorado, the mythical city with riches of gold. Kenneth Branagh and Kevin Kline are quite fun as Miguel and Tuilo, two Spanish con artists who are shipwrecked in the New World with a scene-stealing horse. The pair follow a map to the secret city where their loyalty will be tested: do they return home rich men or continue to live in this paradise? Of course there are some obstacles: a high priest (Armand Assante) is locked in a power struggle with the benevolent chief (Edward James Olmos) and the perfunctory girlfriend (Rosie Perez) puts the two friends at odds. Like too many of the animated features of its time, The Road to El Dorado impresses only on a visual level (it's drenched in gorgeous greens and golds). The story and Elton John's songs are quite forgettable; only Branagh and Kline's playful banter keeps the film alive. The PG rating is for some bare backsides and a suggestion of off-screen sex that should soar right over the little ones' heads. Slick and light, it's a fine 83-minute entertainment for ages 5 and up, including the nondiscriminating adult. --Doug Thomas

Customer Reviews:

Great fun, visually beautiful, and a kid's introduction to Mayan culture.......2007-03-25

Wow, I wouldn't add another review of this movie except that some of the posted ones are sooo bizarre!

We first rented this movie when my daughter was maybe 5 and loved it. There are several sequences where the color and animation are just stunning, and the buddy-movie plot in a historical setting is very funny and (somewhat) educational at the same time. The story involves two Spanish con-artists, Tulio and Miguel, who are accidental stowaways on Cortez' ship and end up in El Dorado, where they are received as gods. Although no specific location for El Dorado is identified and story elements are borrowed broadly from Meso-American culture, the imagery is largely Mayan, and the woman with bigger dreams who helps our Spanish heros is named Chel, no doubt taken from the Mayan goddess Ix Chel.

I find it bizarre that some reviewers find a few seconds (literally) of rear nudity of cartoon characters who are bathing to be objectionable for children. Children are likely to be last ones who think this is unusual. And the suggestion that there is implicit sex in this movie is even stranger, unless you are talking about the fact that children are depicted in some scenes (and we all know where children come from!) Adults can read what they want into the relationship of Tulio and Chel, but I had no problem with my daughter seeing this either when she was 5 or now that she is 8.

A more serious issue than the sex that isn't there is the theme of human sacrifice. This was indeed hard to explain to my 5-year-old, but certainly no worse than many other 'kids' movies, and much easier than explaining the daily news. The actual implied deaths in the movie are limited (if I recall completely) to an anonymous skull on the beach and the sadistic priest's assistant, whom one understands to be murdered in a cutaway scene that shows no actual violence. The scene in which heros Tulio and Miguel are being pursued by a giant stone jaguar was a little scary to my 5-year-old, but is viewed as fairly tame now that she is 8. Overall, it's a far less violent movie than things like Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the ubiquitous shoot-em-up TV cartoons (or old cartoon standards like Huck Hound and Road Runner). It is certainly less violent than most of the Bible or kids' movies based on it such as Prince of Egypt. More importantly, the message is clearly anti-violent, and the off-screen violence is not glorified as something noble, ethical, patriotic, or the will of God.

A historical element that was more difficult for a 5-year-old to comprehend than why there was human sacrifice is why the Spanish were received as gods, and what exactly that meant. Sometimes it's good to be forced to explain theologcical concepts and how they vary among cultures to 5-year-olds. It can help sharpen your own understanding or ability to communicate it.

From a historical perspective, the good chief/sadistic priest dichotomy is an overly simplistic view of how sacrifice functioned in meso-American cultures, but it seemed about right to introduce kids to an unsavory historical topic, and works in the plot as the standard good/evil conflict that many or most stories revolve around. There are other historical and cultural tidbits that may not all be exactly in the correct context, but nevertheless introduce kids and many adults to details of Mayan and broader meso-American culture. For example, the movie is appropriately set in 1519, the year when Cortez actually did set out (from Cuba, not Spain) to Mexico, and landed first on Cozumel, a major pilgrimage site for the temple of the goddess Ix Chel, before heading on to conquer the Aztecs. The movie features in fairly accurate way the ball game that was a central cultural element of Meso-American cultures and is a key element in the Mayan creation myth (Popol Vuh). In one scene, Miguel takes a turn as a voladore (a person who swings upside down suspended from a tall pole). I don't know if the Maya specifically had voladores, but they are a ubiquitous and colorful feature of Mexican tourist spots, including at Maya ruins.

I rented this movie a second time (and eventually bought it because I like it) this year to help my daughter understand who the Maya are (and were) before we took a family vacation to Cozumel. Although it might not be as accurate of a cultural depiction as the books I also got for her, it is safe to say that she was more easily engaged in the movie. Fortunately, she also got to meet real Maya and see how they live now. I took the movie along on our trip and watched it with the entire extended family, who all enjoyed it immensely and laughed frequently (ages 8-80).

Apocalypto, the Musical Comedy.......2006-12-13

Because, really, what better topic for easy laughs with the kiddies than ritualistic human sacrifice?

We really enjoy family movie night at our house. With kids of 13, 10, and 7, it can be a challenge to find something that a) no one has seen and b) has at least some appeal to all three. We came home from the video store with this movie with a rare consensus. By the time it was about 2/3 over, my wife and I had an even rarer consensus, we needed to turn this movie off. I can't say what happens after the point where we stopped, but the Spanish Conquistadors meeting with the Aztecs didn't seem like it would be good fodder for a children's movie. It is a measure of how bad this movie is that none of our kids objected.

Did I mention that the movie was bad? Bad, bad, bad, baddity-bad-bad. One of the worst children's cartoons I have ever seen. Possibly the worst ever. How is it bad, you ask? Let me tell you:

1) Bad plotting. I went in to the kitchen to make popcorn, and I missed the scene that introduced the European Villain (c'mon, it's a movie that includes Aboriginal Americans, how can there NOT be a European Villain). That's how little he was on the screen. Yet, fast forward to the ultimate conflict, and there he is, making a reappearance. Imagine Star Wars with Darth Vader showing up in the opening scene, and then only reappearing at the end to shoot at Luke outside the Death Star. That's what it was like. Bad.

2) Bad singing. I was listening thinking that it sounded like a bad Elton John impersonator who had cribbed from The Lion King. No, it actually WAS Elton John. I can't believe Sir Elton has not paid to have his name expunged from this turkey. This has to be the low point of his career. Elton, seriously, if you read this, if you ever need money this badly again, give me a call. I'll try to help. Bad.

3) Bad topic. I hope the idiot who gave this the green light lost his or her job. Murderous indigenous culture as a comedy vehicle? What's next? An animated musical comedy version of The Diary of Anne Frank? The whole time watching it, I had a creeping dread as to how they were going to deal with this. Bad.

4) Politically correct badness. Of course, the Aztecs were just a bunch of fun-lovin' pacifists with one bad apple leader. Of course they had magical powers that came from their superior communion with nature. Of course they were all fit, friendly, strong, and beautiful. Riiight. Bad.

5) Bad as in inappropriate. The female lead was drawn by someone who thought Disney's Pocahontas looked too childlike and demure. There is swearing for the sake of swearing. There is a love scene that, I kid you not, showed the male character, when interrupted, rising up from "off camera" between the female character's legs. None of this even advanced the plot. B-A-D.

6) Bad vocal talent. Kenneth Branagh's Royal Shakespeare British, Kevin Klein's American-pretending-to-be-British, and Rosie Perez's "you-got-a-problem-with-that" Puerto Rican are not so bad individually, but they were atrocious as a combination. Actively distracting, although, given the rest, maybe that was a good thing. Bad, bad, and bad.

So inappropriate, unentertaining, and politically correct, other than that, it was great.

(Did I mention that I thought it was bad?)

The Other City of Gold.......2006-10-31

I'm a big fan of the old 1980s cartoon series "The Mysterious Cities of Gold", a series about a couple of Spanish kids exploring the New World and discovering many strange things. A few years ago, there was no sign of it on video or DVD (and as far as I know, there still isn't), but a fan site did mention there was a DreamWorks animation coming out in cinemas called "Road to El Dorado", featuring two Spanish guys exploring a mysterious city... of gold! The similarities end there though, and this film is still pretty entertaining.

Tulio and Miguel are best friends, who live by their wits in the streets of Spain. They win a map to El Dorado, the famous New World city of gold, in a game of dice. Unfortunately, their opponents discover their dice are loaded, and in the duo's escape, they get caught on Hernando Cortez' ship bound for Mexico. (Don They are caught, then escape with a boat and a horse, and after many days in shark infested waters, run aground at exactly the place where the map begins. They discover El Dorado, and it's people mistake the two men on a horse for two of their gods, and pay tribute to them. The two men decide to take advantage of this misunderstanding and ask for gold and a ship to get home. But curiousity, a beauti